Got this link from Landlady, who is entirely to blame…
Q. Ideals vs. Gut-Level Discomfort in a Monogam-ish Marriage: We’re a late-20s, super happily married couple, both bisexual to varying degrees, who keep things monogam-ish (we have threesomes with friends and acquaintances but we don’t keep partners on the side). We recently realized we’re both comfortable with the other having solo hookups on the side … but only if it’s same-gender. We’d both feel more threatened by an opposite-gender hookup than a same-gender one. We feel terrible about this because it’s so heteronormative (and cliched as hell)! But a gut feeling is a gut feeling. Should we structure our “rules of engagement” around that admittedly dumb gut feeling, or try to bring ourselves to get out of a retrograde way of thinking?
Is this really the sort of thing people obsess about, in our brave new world of tolerance? I thought only Yalies and certain denizens of San Francisco (NTTAWWT) use words like ‘heteronormative.’ Wrong?
One thing I’m certain of is that monogamy is a state that either is or is not. There is no “monogamish.”
“There is no ‘monogamish’.” Yes, and my spellchecker even backs you up on that!
I might also add that there is no “virginish”, (even though some may say that “virginal” comes close). Just like with monogamy, there is no continuum. You either are or you aren’t.
Lot of “should” statements in that excerpt.
They form one of the surest roads to unhappiness.
Not in today’s “educational system”, Ben. Those are ALL “grey areas”, according to those who teach the children.
It all depends on what the meaning of “is” is…
And here I thought that the old cigar-chomping spinster who wrote the Playboy Advisor had retired . . .
Snicker.
Just because a person can do something, does not mean that person should do that something (sorry about the “should”, Keith). I guess this couple hasn’t figured that out yet.
Whatever trips their trigger! Just leave me out of it and do whatever out of public view.
That ain’t the way it works today, Judy. San Fran Cis Co. Or Hous Ton. Or the Big Craphole.