But does it come in bourbon?

Posted on April 23, 2016 by Joel

Bompas & Parr creates ‘anti-ageing’ gin

I wish to live forever. I also wish to drink booze. Clearly what’s called for here is additives.

The “age-defying botanicals” in the gin include: collagen; an anti-wrinkle substance; nettle, containing mineral content for cell rejuvenation; Gotu Kola, which inhibits scar formation and combats cellulite; chamomile, a healing and relaxing agent; witch hazel oil, which kills bacteria within the skin’s pores; burdock, high in anti-oxidents to repair cracked skin; and green tea, which clears the body of impurities.

Right. Whatever. Each of those sounds like a great excuse. But does it come in Bourbon, is what I want to know.

About Joel

You shouldn't ask these questions of a paranoid recluse, you know.

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One Response to But does it come in bourbon?

MJR says:

April 23, 2016 at 11:41 am

I saw this the other day and it made me laugh. Every inch of waistline and every wrinkle on this weathered old face has been bought and paid for with hangovers, Besides it’s probably too late for me anyway. Now a young, handsome guy like you Joel on the other hand…

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They say that Louis XIV had the inscription Ultima Ratio Regum cast into all the cannon of the French Army. It means “The Ultimate Argument of Kings,” and that always struck me as one of the most honest and up-front things any ruler or would-be ruler ever said. “We can dress it up prettier than this, but when it comes down to the unvarnished truth this is what it’s about: You’ll do as I say or I’ll send my goons to kill you.”

I thought about that for a long time. If there’s an ultimate argument, it seems only logical that there must be an ultimate answer. For years I thought the ultimate answer must be the bullets in my rifle, but it never seemed quite right. I’ve got bullets – he’s got frigging Cannon Balls. I mean, if there were three hundred million rifles throwing bullets at him, then maybe. But we all know that’s not going to happen. So if there’s an ultimate answer to his ultimate argument, it sure as hell ain’t bullets.

It finally came to me – and that’s when I abandoned the city and most of my stuff, and gave all that was behind me a good stiff Randian Shrug.

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