I’d just like to add my voice to the chorus and opine that the new Star Wars flick is a delightfully dumb movie. I know one doesn’t look for logic or consistency from SW, but at times this one plays like a parody of the first trilogy. It just runs down the checklist of SW tropes, giving each a careless spin to eleven: Cute robot? Check, but this one rolls. He’s got to keep up with lots of running. Naive but plucky lad? Yeah but this one’s got boobs and can kick ass. The McGuffin is data hidden inside said cute robot, which the Big Bad will stop at nothing to acquire – except he’s thwarted at every turn by Naive but Plucky Lad. I kept waiting for somebody to mutter, “I’ve seen this movie before.”
Yes of course the Big Bad turns out to be a whining kid with daddy issues, ‘strong in the force.’ Because a long time ago only such could conquer galaxies far, far away, and apparently the force is no judge of character.
It’s very difficult to take this seriously. Though I’m aware that isn’t really the point.
And the cliffhanger ending? This is all about finding Luke Skywalker, the great and terrible? Why, because the whole galaxy wants to kick his ass for running off to pout when the evil empire – uh…I’ve already forgotten the bad guys’ handle – when the bad guys corrupted his twisted but talented apprentice, killed his acolytes and took over the galaxy? Which shouldn’t have come as a surprise because that’s how things repeatedly worked in galaxies far, far away a long time ago? As one character actually points out? Why would anyone give a shit about Luke Skywalker at this point?
When Han Solo got it, I was reminded of the story about how Charlton Heston was contractually obligated to appear in the Planet of the Apes sequel but wanted to ensure such never happened again, so he agreed not to make a fuss but insisted that his character must be killed off. I have a strong suspicion that Harrison Ford, the only one of the original cast to make it big post-SW, had thought about that too at some point.
And looking at him and Leia together, and Luke Skywalker later, I did have what is also probably not an original thought…
I heard my friends really got in a mess
So I’m gonna have to leave Yoda, I guess
But I know that I’ll be coming back someday
I’ll be playing this part till I’m old and gray
The long term contract I had to sign
Said I’ll be making these movies till the end of time
Weird Al Yankovic, thou art vindicated.
And for all that, it’s great fun I wouldn’t have missed. In fact I’ve watched it twice since last weekend. Because it’s Star Wars the way the second trilogy should have been. Suck it, George Lucas.
Glad that you enjoyed the movie but ya it is kinda dumb. :^)
The first was the seventh and the second was the eighth … or something like that. When I had my nose rubbed into that sequels were prequels I quit going to the movies and rented tapes from the video stores. Until the tapes were then passe’ and video stores had been run out of business by Netflix or something and I cancelled my Cable TV subscription.
I still have my internet subscription, and if I really want to watch something I can find it on the net for a lot less $$$ than a ticket to a theater (by about ten dollars) and I can smoke in my home theater and have a toddy if the movie is as boring as I had feared it would be. And I can take a bathroom break without missing anything, and there’s no bad-breath mouth-breather in the row behind me with his smelly sneakers bouncing my chair around.
So there’s nothing negative about being late to the party … that just means you get to enjoy the best of the company.
GREAT review of the latest Star Wars: http://raconteurreport.blogspot.com/2016/01/the-farce-awakens-spoilerpalooza.html
“…2) The whole thing that made Darth Evil Incarnate was the black skull mask, which he only pulled off five seconds before he died, after a lead-in of THREE FUCKING MOVIES. This guy can’t last 2 hours before whipping his off. Imagine seeing the entire shark in Jaws in every scene for an hour, rather than halfway through the movie. Or giving Anthony Perkins away in the opening shot of Psycho. Blistering fuck, someone send J.J. a screenwriting book or something.
3) While we’re at it, the original took the imposing size of Anthony Prowse and the Ultimate Voice Of All Time to personify Vader. The guy in this flick looks like someone so goofy looking and unimposingly dorkish that Peter Jackson couldn’t even find a part for him in Lord Of The Rings or The Hobbit. But if Andy Sirkis and Jerry Seinfeld ever had a gay test tube love child, this guy is it. Like the PC ersatz Blofeld in the last retchworthy Bond flick, this guy is out-eviled in the looks department by Mini-Me…”
Way more rantfest at the link. Hysterically funny!
That’s a great review. But personally I didn’t think the movie was quite that bad. Epically dumb, yes, but then people have been making fun of the original for almost forty years, and for the same reasons.