See, this is where Lenin made his big mistake…

Ah, it’s election season. And unlike last time, when the early field of hopeless hopefuls consisted mostly of stodgy undistinguished and indistinguishable repubs, this time we have a herd of whacky commies trying to out 5-year-plan one another. There’s amusement to be found, if you can choke back your gag reflex*…

Robert ‘Beto’ O’Rourke to Farmers: Give ‘Fair Share’ of Crops for Climate Change

If we allow farmers to earn a profit in what they grow, if we allow them to contribute their fair share in combatting Climate Change by growing cover crops, allowing the technologies that invest in precision tilling and farming, capturing more of that carbon out of the air is another way in which they can make a profit.

Today’s would-be totalitarians know what Lenin’s generation did not: Orwell was a prophet. Reality is whatever you say it is, and is easily adjusted through control of the language. See, when Lenin wanted to starve the Kulaks out he just marched in troops and confiscated all the food they produced. This caused him lots of trouble in the form of rioting Kulaks and bad headlines.

“Beto” O’Rourke (and is he really going with the “Beto” thing still? Because he’s arguably less hispanic than I am – I’ve at least met a hispanic person or two) does not propose to steal anything from anybody. No! Instead, under his kinder, gentler form of totalitarianism farmers will be ‘allow(ed) to contribute their fair share in combatting Climate Change!’ Isn’t that nice of him to include them?

And with the addition of just one box in the flowchart, _{contents TBD}, profit! See? It’s all so simple!

Until the inevitable election fatigue sets in, this might be entertaining.

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*And much reflection upon it is good for the national economy, since it does wonders for ammunition sales…