Via a friend, who sent me this link:
I submit that calling something “tactical” and giving it subdued colors doesn’t make it tactical, whatever that means anyway in this context. Therefore, after I take over the world (maniacal laughter) there will be severe penalties for using the name “tactical” on toiletry products and bright-red polo shirts.
Not because it does any harm. Just because it annoys me.
















































Joel,
I want to apply for special dispensation to mete out the same punishment for any weatherman who calls every winter storm a Nor’easter, and any traffic reporter who yell “black ice, black ice” every time a road gets a little slick.
After you take over the world, that is. I’m just applying early.
Pre-signed blank executive order forms will be available in stacks right outside the Lord High Inquisitor’s office. Just to liven things up.
Rather than automatic penalties, I propose that the CEOs of offending companies be required to prove it by loading themselves down with at least one of every alleged tactical product* he’s attempted to inflict upon suckers, fly off to Afganistan/Somalia/Bumfuq/wherever and _survive_ a minimum of three firefights.
* Manufacturers of “tactical” rail systems will be required to equip every freaking rail for the field test.
As an addendum: Under the new truth-tactical-advertising rules, Gary Olen of Sportsmans Guide is fucked. The “tactical” flashlights in just one smaller catalog alone will get him killed. Whether by heart attack under the sheer load, or by being a self-illuminated target for night fire is a toss-up.