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They say that Louis XIV had the inscription Ultima Ratio Regum cast into all the cannon of the French Army. It means "The Ultimate Argument of Kings," and that always struck me as one of the most honest and up-front things any ruler or would-be ruler ever said. "We can dress it up prettier than this, but when it comes down to the unvarnished truth this is what it's about: You'll do as I say or I'll send my goons to kill you."
I thought about that for a long time. If there's an ultimate argument, it seems only logical that there must be an ultimate answer. For years I thought the ultimate answer must be the bullets in my rifle, but it never seemed quite right. I've got bullets - he's got frigging Cannon Balls. I mean, if there were three hundred million rifles throwing bullets at him, then maybe. But we all know that's not going to happen. So if there's an ultimate answer to his ultimate argument, it sure as hell ain't bullets.
It finally came to me - and that's when I left the city, abandoned a goodly percentage of my goods, and gave all that was behind me a good, stiff Randian Shrug.
The ultimate answer to kings is not a bullet, but a belly laugh.
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Shameless Plug!
Do you suffer from a lonely, unfulfilled, angst-driven existence? Do you often wish you could do something meaningful with your life, like end death or war or taxes, or maybe just read a really good book?
Then you need to buy the following novels immediately!
The Scroll of Jeremiah
The Last Faithful Man
Walt’s Gulch
Songs of Bad Men and Good
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She almost missed hitting that car by a hair.
Ummm…….. I’m not sure she wasn’t shaving her balls after having seen the mugshot.
On the way to visit a “boyfriend”? Is that what they are calling hooking up with the guy you just made the financial arrangement with over the internet now?
I’ve had a few dry spells that lasted a bit longer than I’d have liked but I don’t even know what it’s like to be that desperate.
WTF? This story was a hit two years ago. I saw yesterday that Insty picked it up and almost sent him a email. Oh well, it still is funny.
Really? Heh. I didn’t even look at the date.
Doesn’t matter. Funny.