Against the coyote insurgency: Chemical deterrents

When I first contemplated moving to the boonies for realsies in the mid-oughts there were all manner of weird things I could mentally picture myself doing for fun and profit. Some that I really did end up doing never crossed my mind at all. Example:

The morning perimeter pee, in which I walk around to all points of the Lair’s perimeter where coyotes definitely have or conceivably might enter, and, to the full extent of my bladder’s capacity and with nightly resort to an orange juice bottle, piss on them.

It’s been a long time since I took the time to do this. I neglected the chore and now the coyotes are growing rude and upsetting Tobie in the middle of the night. I find his loud nocturnal rampages very annoying but he’s doing what he’s supposed to – it’s really me who’s been falling down on the job. (sigh)

Just my little way of saying that I’m a large carnivorous predator whom you have offended. Everything in this circle is mine: You can have everything else. It sounds utterly stupid but it literally speaks their language and does usually work.

About Joel

You shouldn't ask these questions of a paranoid recluse, you know.
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6 Responses to Against the coyote insurgency: Chemical deterrents

  1. Rick T says:

    Only stupid if you are so citified you don’t know why dogs sniff everything during a walk… Anyone who has lived around any predator knows about the pee trick.

    We used to have cats in the back yard stalking our indoor parrots. Since we got dogs they stay up on the fences but never down in the yard.

  2. Tree Mike says:

    I got a male Belgian Malinios (Thor) to help me pee around the perimeter. The female dogs just don’t have the same effect, UNTIL something shows up, then they convince it personally. He’s learning patrol duties from the bitches.
    So far, only had to shoot 1 coyote in 9 years. If they’re just passing through, only loitering enough to scope out the posse, then leave, that’s fine. I actually like the critters. We’ve seen 1 mountain lion cross the driveway. Most of out 25 acres are very critter friendly. We only claim 1 acre around the yard/house.
    We’re in western, middle Tennessee, lots of edible critters. We’re only looking at them, for now.

  3. Robert says:

    Brings to mind the scent-marking scene from Never Cry Wolf where our hero employed the same strategy. Of course, he also ATE mice. Maybe Joel can supplement his protein…?

  4. Cederq says:

    I did the same when I had a goat farm in Lower Alabama. My wife and me were walking around the 5 acres and I noticed some tracks and then proceeded to pee every where around the area and then next morning started around the perimeter. She thought I had lost my mind. I explained about being a apex predator and was “marking” my territory so other predatory animals give it a wide birth. She asked if she should do it and I said no bother. You didn’t have enough testosterone to make it effective.

  5. Dave Mansfield says:

    Sounds like you need a .22 (short) riffle to exterminate a few. They are smart and will seek safer places

  6. Mark Matis says:

    He already has an air rifle that should discourage them as well!

To the stake with the heretic!