America has a crisis crisis.

The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.
– H. L. Mencken

It used to be so easy. After the Nazis there were the commies. They took so many different forms, from the hapless to the satanic, that the international hobgoblin quotient was handled for decades with no input needed from our would-be masters but some periodic viewing with alarm and a regular infusion of flag-draped coffins. Simply enumerating the warheads was enough to keep most people scared incontinent. After those ungrateful Soviets fell and people stopped being afraid of commies, our beloved protectors had to work a little harder. But very promptly after pieces of the Berlin wall became common keepsakes we were suddenly all supposed to pretend we knew the difference between a Shi’ite and a Sunni because now Muslims were the new…okay, “great satan” is taken, so…How’s “Axis of Evil?” Yeah! That’s got a ring to it.

Okay, so as a world-conquering existential threat, Muslims have proven something of a disappointment. Yeah, they kicked some Visigoth ass that one time but we’re trying to keep Facebook followers scared here. Thank god – I imagine our masters muttering – for all those beheading videos. Bring on the illegal aliens, and pray at least a few of them know how to do a good beheading. How long do these neolithic oafs think we can milk 9/11? Maybe we can slip them a bomb and get something good started.

Domestically, our beloved protectors have even bigger problems. It’s true some serious issues could be worked into nice scary crises, but they’re the sort of things we’re supposed to be distracted from. Race riots in the second decade of the century? But our masters solved the race problem in 1965! It’s the white racists who’re supposed to be the problem now, and they stubbornly refuse to provide any nice photogenic lynchings. Cop violence? Jeez, how can even the most divisive administration imaginable complain about cops when they’ve been arming them so enthusiastically for so long?

Really, it’s a sad, sad commentary on how far the state of hobgoblin-mongering has fallen, when this is the best our would-be masters’ mouthpieces can do…

The New War on Heroin Has Only Just Begun

“The prescription drug overdose epidemic is tragic and costly, but can be reversed,” CDC Director Tom Frieden said in a statement. “Because we can protect people from becoming addicted to opioids, we must take fast action now, with real-time tracking programs, safer prescribing practices, and rapid response. Reversing this epidemic will require programs in all 50 states.”

Once a problem largely confined to minority populations in urban areas, addiction to heroin and other opiates has evolved into a major public health crisis in suburban and rural areas with large white populations – including the important political battleground states of New Hampshire, Ohio and Iowa.

Democratic presidential frontrunner Hillary Rodham Clinton calls it the “quiet epidemic,” while Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell warned that it was “spreading like cancer” across his home state of Kentucky.

New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie (R), a presidential candidate, took part in a discussion of the crisis earlier this year at a drug treatment facility in Manchester, N.H., while Carly Fiorina, another GOP presidential candidate, has spoken emotionally about losing a stepdaughter to addiction, according to The Washington Post.

I know, I know. Heroin’s been done to death. And you’d think it does raise that inconvenient question about how, if there’s been this highly successful War on Drugs for damn near fifty years, turning cities into occupied zones and creating a prison industry that would have made Pol Pot impotently beat the ground in frustrated envy, how oh how could there possibly be a heroin crisis?

But hey. These aren’t the old days, and it’s what we’ve got.

About Joel

You shouldn't ask these questions of a paranoid recluse, you know.
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8 Responses to America has a crisis crisis.

  1. MamaLiberty says:

    A sick, and entirely predictable result of this new/ongoing hysteria about supposed addiction to “prescription drugs” is the ever increasing difficulty people have finding any way to get necessary medication for serious pain. The recreational users may have to spend more, but they won’t have any real trouble with it. The hospice patients may have a little better luck, but everyone else who actually needs pain relief will be in true crisis – unless they are willing to cross the line and enter the black market. A perfectly vicious cycle.

    But this is nothing new. The prohibitionists just added another verse to the control song.

  2. guffaw1952 says:

    Never let a crisis go to waste! In lieu of that, invent the crisis!


  3. coloradohermit says:

    But but, you’ve forgotten the illegal immigrant crisis! They’re taking all of our jobs and spitting on our cucumbers trying to kill us all!

  4. Ben says:

    Coloradohermit wrote: “you’ve forgotten the illegal immigrant crisis!”

    Oh no! We NEED the illegal immigrant crisis! You see it goes like this, “Xenon”, “X-ray”, “Xenophobia” and “Xylophone”. That’s right, I’ve only got four X-words. Take away “xenophobia” and there go 25% of my X-words right out the window! That would create a terrible X-word crisis!

    Besides, if you were to take away xenophobia, what talking points would Trump have left?

  5. Kentucky says:

    Obviously, we need a sequel to “REEFER MADNESS” !

    Title suggestions?


  6. bravokilo says:

    The problem with Mencken is that while he may be gifted, the GP assumes he’s smart in everything. The same mistake is made with Hawking, and pretty much anyone else we label as ‘genius’.
    When the worst President ever, Roosevelt II, said, “The Japs are coming! And the native Japs are helping them!1!”, he was correct on both counts.
    Sometimes the hobgoblins are real. The problem in a Republic is having an educated enough population to be able to distinguish between the two.

  7. Keith says:

    The Japs coming?

    only when the US Pacific fleet that was being used to enforce a fuel blockade on Japan, was tied up in a nice long and virtually unmissable line for them.

    then, and only then, faced with a state and a navy starved of fuel, could the Japanese generals finally be persuaded to provide FDR with the excuse he so badly wanted to enter WWii.

    Any telling of the Pearl Harbour attack, that leaves out the US naval blockade of Japan to enforce FDR’s fuel embargo, isn’t telling the whole story.

    As for the reason for the American blockade, Japan was only doing in China, what America had done a few decades earlier in Hawaii, The Philippines, Cuba and Samoa…

    Churchill, certainly not a genius, and often a bloody liar. having himself participated so often in its murder, was at least correct about the first casualty of war.

  8. Pingback: A Crisis Is A Terrible Thing To Waste | Guffaw in AZ

To the stake with the heretic!