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They say that Louis XIV had the inscription Ultima Ratio Regum cast into all the cannon of the French Army. It means “The Ultimate Argument of Kings,” and that always struck me as one of the most honest and up-front things any ruler or would-be ruler ever said. “We can dress it up prettier than this, but when it comes down to the unvarnished truth this is what it’s about: You’ll do as I say or I’ll send my goons to kill you.”
I thought about that for a long time. If there’s an ultimate argument, it seems only logical that there must be an ultimate answer. For years I thought the ultimate answer must be the bullets in my rifle, but it never seemed quite right. I’ve got bullets – he’s got frigging Cannon Balls. I mean, if there were three hundred million rifles throwing bullets at him, then maybe. But we all know that’s not going to happen. So if there’s an ultimate answer to his ultimate argument, it sure as hell ain’t bullets.
It finally came to me – and that’s when I abandoned the city and most of my stuff, and gave all that was behind me a good stiff Randian Shrug.
The ultimate answer to kings is not a bullet, but a belly laugh.
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Author Archives: Joel
These two holsters are technically identical, but…
It’s that time of year, when the summer gear goes away and the winter gear starts gradually coming out. And this morning I got to obsessing about holsters. Because there’s something about my holsters that has always perplexed me. I … Continue reading
It’s time, Rocky.
It’s probably three weeks to a month before I break down and set up the woodstove, because I kind of hate the woodstove. But it’s time for… …my beloved bedroom heater. First I had to uncover the outside vent… I … Continue reading
Joel’s latest senior moment…
I’ve had some business I needed to do in town on a business day for two weeks. The weather socked in for several days: I tried getting out on Thursday but the road was so muddy I didn’t want to … Continue reading
Random moments in getting ready for winter…
Two mornings ago I woke up a little chilly, even though I was sleeping in a hoody under a quilt… And thought, okay, maybe it’s time to fire up the bedroom heater. But then I looked at the forecast, which … Continue reading
I’ve had this tab open on my ‘pooter for three days…
I have a pair of gloves that I really like. I bought them over a year ago. Wear them all the time. I’ve got other gloves I only wear on particular occasions but these are the gloves I’ll stuff in … Continue reading
Peanut butter and Kongs – the perfect combo
Tobie’s had a longtime relationship with his Kong since the day he came home from the shelter. It didn’t always go super well. These days he mostly ignores it, not being as toy-obsessed as when he was a puppy. But … Continue reading
Saturday Morning Coming Down
It’s raining cats and dogs. The weekly water run has been postponed till Monday. It was only sprinkling when Tobie and I went out for the morning walkie. Started seriously raining when we were pretty far from the cabin. No … Continue reading
Garbage Day
Finally, a chance to get rid of that old washer. And with it, a whole bunch of other stuff. Happy I was forced to clean out the powershed Sunday. Excellent timing. So I loaded the Jeep trailer,… …then transferred it … Continue reading
Happy (belated, again) Paratus Day!
Got my annual Paratus Day package from Commander Zero… The Ian thing has become a running joke between CZ and me: The only cool thing about me is that I know Gun Jesus. CZ never contents himself with an annual … Continue reading
And once again I turn a little job into a big one…
I had two little chores I wanted to knock out this morning. Tobie and I would be out anyway because I had to go to S&L’s to feed their chickens and cat so I threw some things in the back … Continue reading
And that’s why I dragged that old wagon home and refurbed it…
The kitchen stove I got back in early ’21 forced me to re-think how I use the oven because the oven igniter is such an amazing electricity hog. But the other side of that coin is that the lack of … Continue reading
It’s that time of year…
When you put a jacket over the hoodie you slept in to take Tobie for the morning walkie, and by the time you get back you’re down to a t-shirt on your back and carrying a bunch of textiles. To … Continue reading
Poor Tobie’s a nervous wreck…
We almost never get morning storms. And this year’s monsoon has been an almost total bust but things have gotten a little more dramatic lately. This morning I woke just in time for a big flash just outside my bedroom … Continue reading
Random Gulchy Stuff – Trans Chicken Edition
A few weeks ago Neighbor L (of S&L, not D&L) mentioned that one of her old hens, a Leghorn that no longer lays eggs but is still around because L is too softhearted to off chickens that don’t do their … Continue reading
Oh happy day…
Neighbor L talked all last winter about replacing her pellet stove with propane – and then she really did it! Normally this would be none of my business but she bought pellets by the ton, and they all had to … Continue reading
Tobie meets a dobie…
Yesterday I spent half the day at the big town about 50 miles away, most of that time spent hanging around a Lowe’s waiting for my ride to return. As mentioned yesterday I brought back a dorm fridge but the … Continue reading
The Secret Lair enters the 20th century…
It is hoped that the electrical system improvements of the past year will make this thing practical. Once the newly-expanded battery bank is in place, which it isn’t yet. Right now we have the worst of all possible worlds, with … Continue reading
My dumbass dog tried to hang himself…
When Tobie was a pup fresh from the shelter he had a terrible fear of Jeep rides. He got over it quick but for the first while he wouldn’t stay inside without coercion or bondage. Landlady gave me this cool … Continue reading









































