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They say that Louis XIV had the inscription Ultima Ratio Regum cast into all the cannon of the French Army. It means "The Ultimate Argument of Kings," and that always struck me as one of the most honest and up-front things any ruler or would-be ruler ever said. "We can dress it up prettier than this, but when it comes down to the unvarnished truth this is what it's about: You'll do as I say or I'll send my goons to kill you."
I thought about that for a long time. If there's an ultimate argument, it seems only logical that there must be an ultimate answer. For years I thought the ultimate answer must be the bullets in my rifle, but it never seemed quite right. I've got bullets - he's got frigging Cannon Balls. I mean, if there were three hundred million rifles throwing bullets at him, then maybe. But we all know that's not going to happen. So if there's an ultimate answer to his ultimate argument, it sure as hell ain't bullets.
It finally came to me - and that's when I left the city, abandoned a goodly percentage of my goods, and gave all that was behind me a good, stiff Randian Shrug.
The ultimate answer to kings is not a bullet, but a belly laugh.
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Author Archives: Joel
On this morning, September 25 2018, I opened the last can of Trader Joe’s House Blend Coffee that the Secret Lair will ever see. This is one of the two sent me by Generous Readers and I was more inclined … Continue reading
My original concept was to live on the contents of this tub exclusively until it was gone, to see what would happen. That would have taken eight long days. I gave up that plan on the afternoon of the second … Continue reading
Second Woman Makes Accusation Against Kavanaugh Over something that supposedly happened at Yale. Several decades ago. May or may not have happened at all, may or may not have been Kavanaugh, certainly not something that could ever possibly make it … Continue reading
Alas, this isn’t going to go eight days, or anything like eight days. For my sins I spent most of the afternoon fearful of moving too far from a toilet. My undoing was one of the tub’s principal entrées, Creamy … Continue reading
Okay: So on my very first day, I cheated on my “emergency food only” diet… …so I didn’t even do the third meal yesterday. I did do lunch, though… …Creamy potato soup. Once again, as is I suppose going to … Continue reading
Well okay then. I guess I’ll just drop what I’m doing, go back to the Lair, fire up the laptop, download all those photos currently floating around in Data Pergatory somewhere, and write that food review post I tried to … Continue reading
Okay, so this morning we opened the tub. And immediately encountered our first snag. The tub bills itself as 48 hours of food for four people, and that’s the way it’s packaged. Not 192 hours of food for one person. … Continue reading
Look what Big Brother sent me… Two tubs of this Augason Farms emergency storage food, promising 48 hours worth of food for four people – or eight days for one person? We Shall See. Tomorrow morning the tub gets unsealed. … Continue reading
Under socialism, no matter how bad things might get due to the machinations of the Looters and Wreckers and External Enemiestm, our beloved masters will still be okay. They’ll do great, in fact. And that’s good, right? Because they’re so … Continue reading
Yes. It was 5:30 in the blessed AM and I was baking bread. Why, you ask? What sane person would be doing that at such a time, when all good little boys and girls should be warm in their beds? … Continue reading
Yeah, okay, the host has been having big server problems for some time, obviously. I’m told they’re on it, and also to expect more outages until the issue is resolved. Kind of figured that last bit out for myself and … Continue reading
…goes the game camera. Left it there for two days, and… That’s all that happened. I guess I should be happy there were birds this time. Boy, that place jumped last winter. Now it’s dead as disco. But I know … Continue reading
Who sent that maple syrup some months ago… Yum. Just saying. I don’t actually make pancakes very often because it’s a large hassle factor for one guy. Hassle factor is the principal reason for my usual breakfast of Spammo Classico. … Continue reading
There, I said it. It was sometime back when I was in grammar school, I think. Can’t quite recall. Other people saw it, though. Two people, or maybe four. But I said it, so it must be true. When’s her … Continue reading
I spent the whole of yesterday morning going to town and schlepping hay with D&L, so never got back to the back door. First thing this morning after chicken chores I gave it a light sanding and a third coat … Continue reading
…after their first night out of the cage. Actually I suspect they may have overnighted in the cage, since there were two or three in it when I visited this morning. But mostly they’re out and about. Like any flightless … Continue reading
😀 And it’s fluttering around in there driving Laddie batshit crazy. ETA: I opened the door, it flew out, and Laddie caught it! Wonder if that’s his first vertebrate kill?
Sorry, guys. The Official TUAK IT Department had a major server crash, they’ve got expensive servers lying everywhere, dramatically holding their knees and groaning and wailing about Worker’s Comp. All these trays and broken champagne flutes everywhere…it’s a mess, but … Continue reading