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They say that Louis XIV had the inscription Ultima Ratio Regum cast into all the cannon of the French Army. It means “The Ultimate Argument of Kings,” and that always struck me as one of the most honest and up-front things any ruler or would-be ruler ever said. “We can dress it up prettier than this, but when it comes down to the unvarnished truth this is what it’s about: You’ll do as I say or I’ll send my goons to kill you.”
I thought about that for a long time. If there’s an ultimate argument, it seems only logical that there must be an ultimate answer. For years I thought the ultimate answer must be the bullets in my rifle, but it never seemed quite right. I’ve got bullets – he’s got frigging Cannon Balls. I mean, if there were three hundred million rifles throwing bullets at him, then maybe. But we all know that’s not going to happen. So if there’s an ultimate answer to his ultimate argument, it sure as hell ain’t bullets.
It finally came to me – and that’s when I abandoned the city and most of my stuff, and gave all that was behind me a good stiff Randian Shrug.
The ultimate answer to kings is not a bullet, but a belly laugh.
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Author Archives: Joel
The Prodigal Shirt Returns
I have three old shirts that get the most wear in the hottest part of the desert summer. They’re all old green Dickie workshirts, worn thin, with the sleeves cut off – they got a little too small in the … Continue reading
The worst gun I’ve encountered in a long time…
A neighbor texted me, asked me to come over, and when I did he handed me a pistol case and asked if I could evaluate it and tell him what’s wrong. He’d only put a few rounds through it and … Continue reading
I saw a good one this morning…
This is right up there with ‘I don’t have to be faster than the bear, I just have to be faster than you.”
Does anybody know what this part is called?
It’s what the Jeep’s tailgate latch connects to. It’s been broken for years but recently gave up the ghost to the point where the gate is tied shut with 550 cord. I don’t know what it’s called and I’m having … Continue reading
I didn’t abandon you. The internet abandoned me.
I live near a town where “the internet is down” is an actual phrase. One that hasn’t been used for a few years but it does happen and when it does it demonstrates the danger of excessive reliance on a … Continue reading
Strange new dog/coyote/coydog?
At least once every day Tobie gets very excited at the windows and comes to get me. It’s usually to demand that I go chase cattle out of the yard. He is resolved – reluctantly – that he’s never going … Continue reading
Found a use for that new-ish wagon…
My generator has been hanging out in the cool of Ian’s powershed since I dragged it there in the Spring to run his pressure pump – which has since completely failed, complicating the shower situation. I needed it today, though, … Continue reading
Look who we met this morning…
S&L are traveling so Tobie and I went to take care of their chickens and cat… And on the way home we ran into someone unusual. I don’t know what breed of bull this is. The others are all Angus, … Continue reading
“Just go away and leave me alone,” said the big scary bull.
So far this summer I’m getting bulls in my yard frequently but they’re not giving me a hard time about moving on when I want them to. They’re just not in a hurry about it. Tobie and I ran into … Continue reading
Random Gulchy Moments
When I first started shooting the Arex going on sixteen months ago I complained that the ejection pattern was all over the place. Since it isn’t a gas-operated gun I didn’t expect that to settle down at all but for … Continue reading
Things I like about living here…
I haven’t felt well for the past few months, and my outdoor activities have pared down to necessities. Except lately I’ve been feeling better – I’m eating again, though I’m still trying to get into the habit of doing it … Continue reading
Huh. This never happened before.
I pruned the living hell out of the pear tree late last year, and remembered to put the anti-cow fencing back up just in time this year so the tree has resisted the persistent cattle invasions of my yard. I … Continue reading
Hey, Terrapod! It happened again.
Yeah, I got complacent. Happens every time. I got a rat nest on top of my engine and from that point it’s a mere matter of time before one of the little bastards bites through a fuel injector wire.And the … Continue reading
A Stupid Old Man Rides Into Traffic…
This happened Saturday. I rode my ebike into town and it was such an unusually beautiful day I decided not to head straight back home. If you toured this town the first thing you’d notice is that there clearly are … Continue reading
You know that old dog…
…that’s been around for a long time, and he’s prone to sleeping an awful lot, and he doesn’t want to chase sticks anymore, but he’s still cheerful and he isn’t sick – until one day he just stops eating for … Continue reading
I’m back to carrying a variety of ammo…
One of the things I got away from when I switched from a .44 to a 9mm. It was so nice not to clutter my belt with ammo. But lately poor Tobie has barked himself ragged trying to scare cattle … Continue reading
100% MPPT
I’ve had infrastructure problems and transport troubles for most of this year, and one thing I’ve wanted to do has had to hang fire since some time in April. I replaced my main charge controller almost exactly three months ago, … Continue reading
I’ve been doing stuff. A little bit. Occasionally. Here and there.
It’s summer, so it’s hot. So far there’s almost no sign of monsoon, though we do get windy bits that might eventually add up to a weather change. Tobie and I are walking again. For a while it was very … Continue reading









































