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They say that Louis XIV had the inscription Ultima Ratio Regum cast into all the cannon of the French Army. It means “The Ultimate Argument of Kings,” and that always struck me as one of the most honest and up-front things any ruler or would-be ruler ever said. “We can dress it up prettier than this, but when it comes down to the unvarnished truth this is what it’s about: You’ll do as I say or I’ll send my goons to kill you.”
I thought about that for a long time. If there’s an ultimate argument, it seems only logical that there must be an ultimate answer. For years I thought the ultimate answer must be the bullets in my rifle, but it never seemed quite right. I’ve got bullets – he’s got frigging Cannon Balls. I mean, if there were three hundred million rifles throwing bullets at him, then maybe. But we all know that’s not going to happen. So if there’s an ultimate answer to his ultimate argument, it sure as hell ain’t bullets.
It finally came to me – and that’s when I abandoned the city and most of my stuff, and gave all that was behind me a good stiff Randian Shrug.
The ultimate answer to kings is not a bullet, but a belly laugh.
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Author Archives: Joel
…in the drugstore of a small rural town…
…which I would have implemented the moment I became Lord Master of the Universe: Winter is only welcome as long as it’s entertaining. As soon as dressing up in snugglies to go out and shovel the walk stops being fun, … Continue reading
In our last exciting episode I mentioned that the flour on the new mill’s “bread” setting came out quite gritty. Somebody asked if it might not be possible to run the flour through the mill again. Possible but not optimal. … Continue reading
The soil here is mostly mixed sand and clay, liberally sprinkled with pebbles and larger rocks. And at the start of every winter, as soon as there’s a rain or snow immediately followed by a ground freeze, the pebbles all … Continue reading
I’ve been getting a lot of these lately… …and on those occasions when I looked to see what sort of content they’re selling trying to get me to advertise for free, it’s always just a bunch of clickbait I’d resent … Continue reading
Right at the moment it’s snowing like hell but I think the ground is still too warm for any accumulation. I’ve been wrong before – quite recently in fact, when I believed the forecast of dry weather for today. The … Continue reading
The rain lasted all morning but the clouds started breaking up right around noon, and if the forecast remains correct we’ll have a few dry breezy days to sort out the mud. The mud right at this moment is impressive. … Continue reading
Been doing this since night before last.
Almost two years ago I bought a bunch of stumpsocks from a site called amputeestore.com. I expect the unsolicited spam emails to outlast the socks. But I haven’t done anything to make them stop because sometimes they’re just plain entertaining. … Continue reading
It has taken him quite a while but Torso Boy has finally gotten to a point where I can trust him to stay close and listen when I talk to him, even when we’re out away from the yard. He’s … Continue reading
All I needed was the right socket. But first, you folks with some Jeep experience: Does anybody know what this bracket is for? Because as far as I can tell its only function is to give the upper hinges something … Continue reading
Check this out… I got a text from some neighbors yesterday around ten, asking if I ever eat cold cereal. I don’t particularly, but I’m adaptable. They said they had some they were never going to get around to consuming. … Continue reading
I thought I had the correct Torx socket to replace the Jeep’s driver door hinges… …but it turns out I could only remove the mirror. Which ought to be replaced before Ol’ Yeller could be considered street legal, which in … Continue reading
My plan for the morning was to get all that firewood cut and stacked no matter what, damage acceptable, if I had to spent the whole rest of the day sitting on my ass and moaning it would be worth … Continue reading
Since I actually do need bread I chickened out on the 50/50 thing. I used more like 20% whole wheat. And with that, it rose quite nicely indeed.
So last weekend Landlady brought up this grain mill, which will allow us to do something about… …the two sealed buckets of wheat berries that have been in the Gulch longer than I have. Since I bake all the time, … Continue reading
It’s really time to get back to work on woodcutting. I don’t want to cut a lot because everything currently in the woodshed – probably but not definitely a whole winter’s worth – has been in there two winters now … Continue reading
I’m sitting here being lazy and waiting for things to warm up a bit before I put it in gear, killing time by watching a video on my phone. D&L told me on Monday that they might go to town … Continue reading
And they’ve been having a party. Saw tracks in the yard – Torso Boy smelled them first, which added spice to his regular morning ‘let’s go have a shit’ walky. Then I took a nice hour’s walk through the boonie, … Continue reading