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They say that Louis XIV had the inscription Ultima Ratio Regum cast into all the cannon of the French Army. It means "The Ultimate Argument of Kings," and that always struck me as one of the most honest and up-front things any ruler or would-be ruler ever said. "We can dress it up prettier than this, but when it comes down to the unvarnished truth this is what it's about: You'll do as I say or I'll send my goons to kill you."
I thought about that for a long time. If there's an ultimate argument, it seems only logical that there must be an ultimate answer. For years I thought the ultimate answer must be the bullets in my rifle, but it never seemed quite right. I've got bullets - he's got frigging Cannon Balls. I mean, if there were three hundred million rifles throwing bullets at him, then maybe. But we all know that's not going to happen. So if there's an ultimate answer to his ultimate argument, it sure as hell ain't bullets.
It finally came to me - and that's when I left the city, abandoned a goodly percentage of my goods, and gave all that was behind me a good, stiff Randian Shrug.
The ultimate answer to kings is not a bullet, but a belly laugh.
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Do you suffer from a lonely, unfulfilled, angst-driven existence? Do you often wish you could do something meaningful with your life, like end death or war or taxes, or maybe just read a really good book?
Then you need to buy the following novels immediately!
The Scroll of Jeremiah
The Last Faithful Man
Songs of Bad Men and Good
Author Archives: Joel
I haven’t been following the story of the special prosecutor who’s apparently planning to keep looking for Russian collusion with the Trump campaign until Trump confesses just to get it over or the heat death of the universe, whichever comes … Continue reading
When I was Mr. Suburban Man I really couldn’t justify the expense. The house and wife and kid and 2.5 shiny cars are expensive. When I chucked it all and became a cedar rat I could have justified the expense … Continue reading
Eleven degrees out this morning, and that’s as cold as it’s gotten so far this season. There’s some heat leakage past the bedroom curtain; normally the cabin stays about 20o above ambient when I’m in it but not actively heating, … Continue reading
The bad thing about keeping livestock is that you can’t go away and leave them to die horribly if you feel like it. Well you can, but it’ll get you on the evening news. Enter Joel’s Rent-a-hermit! For a low, … Continue reading
It’s been pretty much a tradition since moving into the Lair in November 2011: Watching when and at what angle the sun arrives over the ridge… …because with the Lair’s free sample of a battery bank, the early evenings and … Continue reading
Not for me, fortunately. The Lair’s water delivery system started simple and got simpler to the point where there’s little to freeze and little of that is prone to break if it should freeze. Today, though, I have special reason … Continue reading
Courtesy of BB we learn of the latest impediment to law enforcement officers’ efforts to get home safely at the end of their shift… Feds Issue 4,000 Orders to Seize Guns from People who Failed Background Checks Which news shouldn’t … Continue reading
…and the obvious joke popped out of my mouth while LB and I were in the Jeep listening to the radio… “And hardly for the first time, the Silverdome hosts a disappointed audience…” Turns out I was too late. Far … Continue reading
Yesterday I managed to dribble gasoline all over the back of Landlady’s Prius, as 2 of 3 retrofitted Jerry can vents decided to leak precious juice. I assumed the same thing happened as before, that the sealant held but the … Continue reading
You guys are going to make me work, aren’t you? There are currently 14 subscribers! Including one $10/month, which brings TUAK’s Patreon income to $43/month. A big help, and much appreciated. But here’s the problem – If we cross $50/month, … Continue reading
I thought the first SpaceX launches and recoveries were cool, finally bringing spacecraft technology into the fictional 1930’s. But since all they ever did with it was take NASA money to deliver pizza to the ISS, I lost interest quickly. … Continue reading
Yeah, I know. Here’s another of those scientific animal studies that prove something most people already knew, but with a new factoid I didn’t actually know… Dogs have about 530 million cortical neurons while cats have about 250 million. And … Continue reading
I got two care packages from Big Brother this morning, and spent some time this morning stocking the new loft pantry. Which I like! I can put cardboard containers of (mostly not food) stuff up there without needing to worry … Continue reading
Facebook rolls out AI to detect suicidal posts before they’re reported This is software to save lives. Facebook’s new “proactive detection” artificial intelligence technology will scan all posts for patterns of suicidal thoughts, and when necessary send mental health resources … Continue reading
Before T died he had specific ideas as to what he wanted on his gravestone. After T died, Landlady learned there were specific things monument makers are not willing to carve on a gravestone. So she found somebody who works … Continue reading
…except possibly during a house fire. h/t to feralfae.
I’m not making fun here, I genuinely don’t understand. If you want to be a vegetarian, however strict, that’s totally … I don’t care. Good. You’re literally harming nothing but plants, so why would I object? I don’t even know … Continue reading