Author Archives: Joel

About Joel

You shouldn't ask these questions of a paranoid recluse, you know.

Best friends EVER

Thanks to Landlady, I got my iPhone back fixed! And now I can go back to photographing everything in sight, because the past six weeks or so have taught me that it’s really AirDrop I miss. The iPhone is much … Continue reading

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TUAK: The Rambling

It’s September 10. Three days ago I spent the afternoon naked due to an unseasonable heat wave. This morning it’s 37o and I’m wrapped in layers and typing through gloves. I took a picture of the cool digital indoor/outdoor thermometer … Continue reading

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Rain! Water from the sky!

When I ran into Neighbor L yesterday morning she said there was a ‘90% chance’ of rain forecast for yesterday. There being not a cloud in the sky visible through all the secondhand smoke I had my doubts. But the … Continue reading

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I’m officially asking California to stop being so handsy…

…and to keep its second-hand smoke to itself. I mean I thought they were all into social distancing and stuff.

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And sometimes the Internet can be fun.

This guy is molotov cocktailing wrong – but at least he knows he can convalesce as the nation’s most popular meme for the next week or two – or anyway until the next political murder, which will be any minute … Continue reading

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This took two days.

I’m not ignoring you, at least not as much as it seems. It’s just that every time I go near a computer the cell signal falls to nothing. Seriously, most times I can’t even check email lately. And that with … Continue reading

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Random Gulchy Moments

Yesterday I got a chance to visit the Palace of Food, the Safeway in the biggish town about 35 miles away. I get such a kick out of that place – nice to be reminded from time to time that … Continue reading

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Eh? Eh?

From the “People throw away the damndest things” department, I give you… …the closest to “cute” we’ve come so far. 🙂 Excellent timing: The last of the scrounged deck chairs had just about finished falling apart. The old table, knocked … Continue reading

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Like trying to find my way out of a cave…

August wasn’t a banner month for me to begin with, injuries always drop a bomb on my schedule, and the past two weeks have been kind of rough. What happened with Laddie depressed me more and longer than I expected; … Continue reading

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You’re welcome.

Murphy’s Law of Social Trend Integration clearly states “When Joel joins a fad, the fad burned out days or weeks ago.” So yesterday I actually bought one of those dumbass masks that have been all the rage for the past … Continue reading

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Wow, Laddie was a more lovable little bastard than I gave him credit for…

Okay, enter caveats: I have a paper right here showing that his mother and father were as married as dogs ever get so ‘bastard’ is wrong in every sense. And he was a Corgi officially christened “Sweet’n Soft’n Squishy,’ so … Continue reading

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Adventures in missing the point…

Alternate title: All I Did was Suggest Improvements. I don’t need this shit right now – I just got the loveliest email in response to the post below. I get the impression this is a person who pitched something in … Continue reading

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Spammers: Take a lesson from this.

Bloggers: Are you tired of unimaginative, ineffective, cookie-cutter spam ads in your inbox? Do you wish somebody would at least look at your damned blog before gracing you with an incoherent block of cut/n/pasted text half-assedly trying to sell you … Continue reading

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Moving on. Again.

Boy, I’ve spent five days in a bad place. Felt nearly normal on Saturday then had a maudlin Sunday and yesterday went into a banging rage over nothing. I was absolutely not ready for human company and no fun at … Continue reading

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Okay, let’s talk about this…

First of all, thank you very much for all the comments. I do appreciate it. For the record I know perfectly well that I did the right thing and what I blame myself for is making him suffer through six … Continue reading

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Only another ugly memory

It’s been well over twelve hours and I’m still having trouble processing last night. I’m going to write this now before the tequila I’ve lately been drinking starts processing brain cells. Rather than come up with a long original explanation … Continue reading

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Relax, dammit!

Though it might not break 100 today, we’re still sweating here at the Secret Lair. Torso Boy is not doing well. I don’t believe I’ve ever seen a dog go from apparently perfectly healthy to death’s door so quickly in … Continue reading

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In other news…

This is … fabulous. I’d say this will make Stephen Stills kill himself just so he can roll in his grave – except I’m told that’s him playing the guitar so what the hell do I know. I’m also told … Continue reading

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I had a chapter three but it doesn’t seem important now.

I had my whole tale of woe outlined before I wrote the first word but the ending was weak and has been overcome by other matters already mentioned. Naturally the bad news was immediately followed by the hottest heat wave … Continue reading

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Addendum to the cancer post below…

The preceding is NOT repeat NOT a bleg. Torso Boy is a cool little guy and if he were two years old rather than pushing ten I’d probably do it. There’s actually a way for poor people to go into … Continue reading

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