I actually spoke those words to a stranger yesterday afternoon, and almost had to ask him to give me a moment while I dealt with my existential crisis.
I’ve mentioned here and there over the years that when I was young I was one of “those” kids. And after I stopped being a kid, strictly speaking, I spent quite a few years being the kind of guy you wouldn’t really want hanging around your stuff. Not that I was ever a thief, because I wasn’t. Not habitually, anyway. But I was scruffy and itinerant and pretty much devoid of people skills, and you’d have been a fool not to assume I was up to no good.
As I went from place to place I heard that phrase in the title a lot. I was well aware it wasn’t to be taken literally. In the context I always heard it it means “What are you doing here, and how much trouble are you going to give about leaving?”
I still remember the first time a stranger said the phrase to me outside a store or something and meant it more-or-less literally. I’m not at all sure I’m exaggerating when I say the incident changed my life.
But yesterday I meant it in the traditional sense as I climbed out of the Jeep, making sure my shirt wasn’t snagged in my gun butt, to chase off some dude who thought the old cattle-watering station on Landlady’s property was a tourist attraction. It was just a little jarring, as it always is, to hear the words coming out of my mouth.
“Then I pulled out my .45 and put it on the shelf with the rest. Nobody said a word about it; it wasn’t remarkable enough to mention. But it reminded me of line from a novel I’d recently read: “I will defend this house, and those in it, as if they were my own.” ”
Have always loved that story… but I’m wondering…
Why would everyone put their gun on a shelf, let alone one by the door? How do you defend yourself or the house if the door is kicked in and the intruder is then between you and your guns? That doesn’t make any sense at all.
When people enter my home, we all continue to carry our guns. Long guns go on a rack, but that is far from the door. The chances of someone kicking in the door here are slim to none, but if one ever did… we’d not be separated from our defense tools.
Why would everyone put their gun on a shelf, let alone one by the door? How do you defend yourself or the house if the door is kicked in and the intruder is then between you and your guns? That doesn’t make any sense at all.
Over the years quite a few people have had an issue with the shelf in the story. I don’t know why those folks did that, and didn’t ask. As for me, it has never been my custom to disarm when I’m in a friend’s house. But at the time adding my handgun to theirs seemed like the collegial thing to do.