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They say that Louis XIV had the inscription Ultima Ratio Regum cast into all the cannon of the French Army. It means “The Ultimate Argument of Kings,” and that always struck me as one of the most honest and up-front things any ruler or would-be ruler ever said. “We can dress it up prettier than this, but when it comes down to the unvarnished truth this is what it’s about: You’ll do as I say or I’ll send my goons to kill you.”
I thought about that for a long time. If there’s an ultimate argument, it seems only logical that there must be an ultimate answer. For years I thought the ultimate answer must be the bullets in my rifle, but it never seemed quite right. I’ve got bullets – he’s got frigging Cannon Balls. I mean, if there were three hundred million rifles throwing bullets at him, then maybe. But we all know that’s not going to happen. So if there’s an ultimate answer to his ultimate argument, it sure as hell ain’t bullets.
It finally came to me – and that’s when I abandoned the city and most of my stuff, and gave all that was behind me a good stiff Randian Shrug.
The ultimate answer to kings is not a bullet, but a belly laugh.
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Category Archives: Uncategorized
Found this lady waiting for me when I got home…
All by herself. Usually there’s a flock of’em. Also usually they have the courtesy to recognize that they’re trespassing enough to at least avoid me. This one just bleated and walked up to me like I owed her money, or … Continue reading
I love this book.
I took A Canticle for Leibowitz down off the shelf yesterday evening for the first time in a couple of years and it kept me up late. I love this book but frequently forget why: After all it’s dour, pessimistic … Continue reading
A beautiful morning for once…
Clouds cleared away overnight. They’re due back this afternoon but for the moment the Gulch is frosty… …and the temperature got down low enough early enough that the mud mostly froze! So my first pleasant walkie in a week. Having … Continue reading
Big Steampunk Pressure Gauge: Lookie here what we got…
I mentioned a couple of days ago that the pressure gauge over the sink had finally gotten a chance to perform its principal function, which was to warn me of a drop in water level at the tank at the … Continue reading
Away, foul weather!
I swear I’d almost prefer a good freeze to a prolonged soaking rain. The sun came out this morning but it’s not supposed to dominate until like Friday, so this morning the whole desert was… Mud and mist. Mostly mud. … Continue reading
An interesting experiment in battery charging…
…is not working out in a satisfactory manner. I have exceeded the ability of a Battery Minder to do something it never was designed to do in the first place. I just went out to check on the fuel in … Continue reading
The big pressure gauge pays off!
Ugh, what a wet, miserable, lousy, ugly, filthy muddy morning. Mornings like this I could curse myself for getting a big dog that needs big walkies, because I should be sitting in my recliner with a mocha and a blanket … Continue reading
Tobie’s new favorite toy…
$3 at the dollar store. Just like his old favorite toy, which finally broke under the stress of a great many games of tug’o’war. I was impressed! Oh, the rope didn’t last a month and probably neither will this one … Continue reading
You can’t see him, but he’s there.
A couple of days ago I started baking bread around noon of a sunny day, and almost the instant I was committed the clouds rolled in thick. Now, I can use the oven on a cloudy day but there’s a … Continue reading
It’s been my friend for a long time. Not always a very GOOD friend, but…
Regular readers know my everyday handgun is an unusual choice. A 5-shot .44 revolver wouldn’t be anybody’s idea of a proper gun for a gunfight, but I live way back in the boonies and don’t worry very much about getting … Continue reading
The Low Oil Shutoff Switch…
…also works when the oil is really cold. Remembering this will make you look less stupid. I had an incident 4 years ago where I had to start the Honda generator when it was VERY cold, in front of other … Continue reading
“Oh dear. OH DEAR!”
A couple of years ago Landlady gave me a great gift: A french butter dish. It works wonderfully well in summer to keep butter fresh outside a refrigerator. In winter there’s a problem: The only way to load the contraption … Continue reading
Lord of all he surveys…
Here’s a bit of irony: Tobie used to get excited when he saw me sorting laundry, because it meant a Jeep ride to visit the nice lady who always had jerky treats. Now he gets excited because it means a … Continue reading
The big temperature swing
It’s already after nine ayem and I have things to do outside today, but… …this time of year it pays to display a little patience. Tobie gets his long walkie, but then Uncle Joel settles down with his second cup … Continue reading
A perfect Joel’s Gulch Thanksgiving…
Everybody’s gone to cities to visit their families, and later I’ll make the rounds to do their chores for them. 🙂 Now if only they’d stop sending me Happy Thanksgiving texts. 😀
Wow, time to buy flour.
Baking day! Accompanied by a periodic chore I knew was coming… …the every-few-months filling of the flour bucket. Now: I used to stock roughly 90 pounds of flour up in the pantry, which is enough to fill the bucket three … Continue reading
Poor Tobie…
Normally he’s philosophical about the Monday morning water run. When he sees me fiddling with empty water bottles he knows he’s not going with, and he accepts that without undue fuss. Normally. But this morning he decided a little negotiation … Continue reading
“Uncle Joel, you’ve been up for two hours!”
For the past week or two I’ve been sleeping in; sometimes even past six o’clock. Basically, if I wake up and light isn’t peeking over the window curtains, I roll over and try to go back to sleep. But this … Continue reading









































