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They say that Louis XIV had the inscription Ultima Ratio Regum cast into all the cannon of the French Army. It means “The Ultimate Argument of Kings,” and that always struck me as one of the most honest and up-front things any ruler or would-be ruler ever said. “We can dress it up prettier than this, but when it comes down to the unvarnished truth this is what it’s about: You’ll do as I say or I’ll send my goons to kill you.”
I thought about that for a long time. If there’s an ultimate argument, it seems only logical that there must be an ultimate answer. For years I thought the ultimate answer must be the bullets in my rifle, but it never seemed quite right. I’ve got bullets – he’s got frigging Cannon Balls. I mean, if there were three hundred million rifles throwing bullets at him, then maybe. But we all know that’s not going to happen. So if there’s an ultimate answer to his ultimate argument, it sure as hell ain’t bullets.
It finally came to me – and that’s when I abandoned the city and most of my stuff, and gave all that was behind me a good stiff Randian Shrug.
The ultimate answer to kings is not a bullet, but a belly laugh.
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Category Archives: Uncategorized
A TUAK Public Service Announcement…
But it’s probably too late to worry now. Merry Christmas, y’all.
Tobie gets a twofer…
My distant neighbors T&S went visiting for the holiday, which meant I started going across the plateau and up their mesa twice a day to take care of their dogs… …and for once – so far – there are none … Continue reading
My beautiful, wonderful bedroom heater, love of my life…
…has been an undependable pain in my ass all winter long, and night before last it stopped working entirely. It’s been temperamental since the beginning of the season – not always lighting right away when the thermostat cued it, occasionally … Continue reading
Taking another look at the new spring…
It’s still flowing quietly away. Hasn’t slowed down in the slightest. When I lived in the land of grass and trees I was used to this sort of thing. But open water where none belongs seems like a failure mode … Continue reading
Ah! It’s a plague! Or maybe a plot…
So a couple of days ago I moaned that I had suddenly gone through a major percentage of my remaining AAA batteries in a single dark morning. Haven’t gotten around to procuring a new package but that’s all right – … Continue reading
Tobie Meets a Horse
He’s seen the horses many times, of course – but always from safely way up on the shotgun seat of the Jeep. Yesterday … well, let’s just say he noticed a significant height disadvantage. After lunch we went to D&L’s … Continue reading
Care Packages!
Haven’t done this in a while. 🙂 Can’t really solicit reader contributions since I lost my remote maildrop, but happily a 14-year-old blog does have a bunch of longtime Generous Readers I don’t mind giving my local address. Anyway, I … Continue reading
Propane and Propane Accessories
With propane nearly $4/gal, there’s another good reason to get right on looking for and fixing gas leaks. In this case, I caught a whiff of gas at the bedroom regulator, brought out a bowl of soapy water, and quickly … Continue reading
When all your flashlights die at once…
Okay, technically it’s not possible for all my flashlights to die at once because there’s like six or eight of them scattered around the Lair. But there are still the ones you always reach for, right? The one on your … Continue reading
Clear and cold…
Weather broke yesterday, and just in time as far as the batteries are concerned. Yesterday was nice and clear, still and cold. With clear skies all night you can bet it was plenty cold this morning. Forecast says it’ll stay … Continue reading
Damned goats…
Ten million bushes in the high desert and they have to come chew on mine. Not to mention shitting all over my yard.
First time this season…
…I’ve lit the woodstove twice in a morning. The only problem with a stove like this, in a very small cabin, is that it’s either too much or nothing. Keep it stoked and it’ll drive you right out of the … Continue reading
More snow…
Mostly overnight, because I found 2 inches of light powder on the solar panels. But it started up again just in time for morning walkie. Just flurries, and without yesterday’s nasty cold wind so we could continue on a proper … Continue reading
Let us now praise the sense of smell…
So when the snow stopped I went out to clean the solar panels. And as I put the squeegee away in the ratproof shed where I store seasonal stuff I remembered to retrieve this cool pair of insulated pants a … Continue reading
Snowstorm stopped…
…at about quarter past eleven. Just in time for Tobie’s lunch and a quick walkie, where he was all “OMGTHISISSOCOOL!!!11” and completely forgot all rules of leash decorum, for which I couldn’t really blame him because this is the first … Continue reading
Winter comes to the Gulch again…
Right on schedule, too! The forecasters said it was coming: After a week of unseasonably mild and pleasant weather, expect days of below-freezing temps beginning with a snowstorm. In fact D&L took the forecast so seriously that they rescheduled the … Continue reading
Well, hell.
It’s possible there’ll be guests before the end of the month. For their comfort I will probably give up the Lair for a few nights and sleep in Ian’s Cave. But Ian’s Cave is, how you say, not heated. With … Continue reading
For me but not for thee
I got an early chuckle from this goof on a recent change in the venerable 4473… Via Codrea
Sometimes I clean guns I don’t even own.
I was poking around in the dim recesses of Ian’s Cave yesterday morning while the washing machine did its thing and came upon this old Italian .25acp vestpocket in a box of junk. Ian certainly didn’t buy it for its … Continue reading
Wouldn’t want to spread any nasty inflation rumors, but…
For the record the price of flour has exactly doubled. As I said last month, I’m giving up my practice of bulk-storing flour in the pantry in the original bags, and going to food buckets. Due to a shortage of … Continue reading









































