From the “Really? I didn’t know they were still alive” files…

Posted on September 23, 2015 by Joel

Even before I became an actual hermit in the actual desert, I was never what you’d call a big consumer of celebrity news. But I do have an internet connection, barely functional as it may currently be, and it is my principal source of ‘what’s going on out there.’ Given that the internet seems to consist of approximately 83% cute kitten pictures and sidebar clickbait about what-all some actress I never heard of is or isn’t wearing, it’s inevitable that some celebrity news will make it past my defenses.

In this case, two pieces of news concerning celebrities from the olden days came over the transom, and both triggered the “But I thought they were already dead” flag. Doris Day may or may not get a part in a Clint Eastwood flick. And sadly Yogi Berra has died.

Neither article mentions what either nonagenarian celebrity was wearing, if anything. Which is just naked ageism if you ask me.

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You shouldn't ask these questions of a paranoid recluse, you know.

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2 Responses to From the “Really? I didn’t know they were still alive” files…

Judy says:

September 23, 2015 at 8:07 am

Thanks, now I need eye bleach! I don’t want to see Yogi Berra or Doris Day naked
Anonymous says:

September 23, 2015 at 9:38 am

I thought I just read the guy that played Jimmy Olsen on the TV show ‘Superman’ just died as well. Jack Larsen.

I also thought both Doris Day and Yogi Bera had already died.

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They say that Louis XIV had the inscription Ultima Ratio Regum cast into all the cannon of the French Army. It means “The Ultimate Argument of Kings,” and that always struck me as one of the most honest and up-front things any ruler or would-be ruler ever said. “We can dress it up prettier than this, but when it comes down to the unvarnished truth this is what it’s about: You’ll do as I say or I’ll send my goons to kill you.”

I thought about that for a long time. If there’s an ultimate argument, it seems only logical that there must be an ultimate answer. For years I thought the ultimate answer must be the bullets in my rifle, but it never seemed quite right. I’ve got bullets – he’s got frigging Cannon Balls. I mean, if there were three hundred million rifles throwing bullets at him, then maybe. But we all know that’s not going to happen. So if there’s an ultimate answer to his ultimate argument, it sure as hell ain’t bullets.

It finally came to me – and that’s when I abandoned the city and most of my stuff, and gave all that was behind me a good stiff Randian Shrug.

The ultimate answer to kings is not a bullet, but a belly laugh.
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