Here’s the sort of thing that makes an old hermit’s heart go pitty-pat…

I do feel bad about wasting resources on it, but I guess it’s my unnecessary new toy for the year.

I have a perfectly good Plan B knife, but quickly decided I didn’t like it nearly as well as my everyday knife which I finally admitted I’d truly lost. Inconstant, unfaithful bastard that I am, I decided to see the calamity as an excuse to do something I wanted to do years ago but could never afford when I was living on shit-shoveling and occasional cleanup gigs…


And then, the evening of the very day I swallowed hard and spent $100 on a knife, I found my regular darlin’. Murphy pulled a trick on me that was either mean or just generous…


…and now I have an embarrassment of riches.

ESEE 3 is clearly a really nice knife, probably it’s objectively better than my regular one. It has the blade style I like, with enough blade, belly and point to be useful for just about everything you’d reasonably ask a knife to do, but…


…once the new wears off I think I’m going to find I still like my old one best. It holds a good edge and the handle was made to be more like a tool than a traditional knife. Everything else feels spindly in my hand now.

About Joel

You shouldn't ask these questions of a paranoid recluse, you know.
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4 Responses to Here’s the sort of thing that makes an old hermit’s heart go pitty-pat…

  1. Zelda says:

    And now you are living on (pick one or more) your oil well dividends; your lottery winnings; the income from your tent campground/B&B; the bank holdup money you found under a bush; your inheritance; your poker winnings and so you can afford that knife. But what about groceries? Gas? Propane?? Is the new knife returnable?

  2. Joel says:

    🙂 All of the above, of course. The secret’s out, I’ve really been Jeffrey Epstein’s investment manager all this time.

  3. Malatrope says:

    Hey, use your old one to carve up a new handle for the new knife, out of a mesquite tree or something!

  4. Mike says:

    Well, isn’t that always the way? That Murphy sure is an SOB. Nice knife, BTW.

To the stake with the heretic!