Never really had an opinion about it before. Do as you will as long as you don’t harm me, that’s always been my motto. Or would be if I started having a motto.
Then a good friend gave me an iPhone. That was, what, a month ago? Now I hate Apple with every clichéd fiber of my being. Tomorrow I’m going to sneak into the big town so I can have “Die Apple Die” tattooed on my chest. And I don’t even think tattoos are a good thing. It just needs to be expressed.
Why do I hate Apple with such berserk fury, you might reasonably ask. After all, somebody just up and gave you a frickin’ smartphone. They’re cool.
Oh, the phone is completely neato. Don’t get me wrong. You’d have to pry it from my cold dead fingers. But 1) I’m not a technophobe but not a technophile, either. And now there’s a bunch of things to learn. Like how to load music. This should be the simplest thing in the world. It is not. Short of buying all new tunes from Apple, I’m not completely convinced it’s even possible. (As for iTunes: I do not know a single person who ever purchased, or even listened to, a Miley Cyrus song. Miley Cyrus could be beheaded by Muslim radicals while on fire and not upset me in any way. And that’s the only name on the iTunes front screen I even recognize.) 2)Every now and then I’m tempted to attempt actually dealing with Apple. Scenes like this are why thoughts of mass shootings occur to white guys. I just attempted to establish an “Apple ID.” Why do they make this difficult? I attempted 3 times to pick a password acceptable to Apple. Finally stopped because I like this phone and hurling it across the room would be childish and self-destructive. So I stopped.
I’m only writing this as therapy. I have to go feed horses and dogs now. I really, truly hate Apple. That is all.