I hate this part.

The only bad part about being a hermit? Sometimes you have to step out of the desert, and it’s always a big scary deal.

Once in a great while somebody will throw a compliment about how I’m not really afraid of anything in the boonies but breed bulls, how I can live on next to nothing, “improvise, adapt and overcome,” and all the other good things about the solitary life. That’s nice, but as I’ve said before nobody becomes a hermit in the desert because his life was going so great outside the desert. Outside the desert I’m afraid of pretty much everything – mostly because when something goes wrong in a city you usually can’t just shoot it or hit it with a wrench until it stops bugging you one way or the other. You have to actually deal with it, and I’m no good at that.

Eleven years in the desert haven’t exactly attenuated that effect. So now I’ve absolutely got to go to the eye doctor, and since I haven’t been to the big town about 50 miles away in almost a year I’ve got a helluva shopping list which means Wal-Mart and Lowe’s as well, and I’d almost rather be shot. I’m sure everything will turn out all right, but in the meantime it’ll be five hours of nervous twitches and a cramping gut.

Pray for us sinners, I guess. Here we go…

About Joel

You shouldn't ask these questions of a paranoid recluse, you know.
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6 Responses to I hate this part.

  1. Eric says:

    Good luck. Oh and don’t shoot anything. :)

  2. coloradohermit says:

    Good luck! Try to have some fun with that shopping list, like maybe a couple nice bottles of booze.

  3. take immodium before you go.
    may cause some discomfort but that will be easily dealt with once you return to your lair.

  4. Mike says:

    While I’m not as bad, I understand what is going through your head. I fret something fierce every time I make the trip to the big city and I hate it. I just hate the uncertainty of being out of my element. So you have my sympathies. Remember Joel, animals can sense fear and you are going into a den of the two legged kind. :^) Kidding aside I’m sure everything will be OK and I hope the eye doc doesn’t have any bad news.

  5. Ben says:

    I am looking forward to a full “after action report”.

  6. Brass says:

    Sounds like Robert Service’s “I’m Scared Of It All.”

To the stake with the heretic!