I must like you, Ghost, or I wouldn’t do this.

First thing in the morning. Before coffee. WAY before breakfast. Before I feed the chickens, even.

Ghost has never been my favorite dog – mostly because I’ve never been his favorite human. He was smart, quick, a very useful watchdog, we lived together for eight years, but I wasn’t his choice and he rarely let me forget it. Dealing with Ghost was a matter of negotiation, not barking orders.

Now he’s a fat, deaf, increasingly incontinent geriatric mess. But he’s family. So I hop out of bed, put on my leg and my pants, go down the ladder in the near-dark, pull on boots, strap on a gun, take LB out for a pee and then straight to the Jeep, to drive to S&L’s place for our first visit with Ghost…

ghost2
…and also, since he’s certain to have left me a puddle…

mop
…clean and filled and ready to go from the night before. I get there as soon as I can without resort to an alarm clock and I even tried that once. But then it finally dawned that it didn’t matter; what he really needed for the mop to be unnecessary was a visit at bedtime, long after dark. The morning puddle is always old. Frankly it’s less trouble to mop it in the morning than to prevent it at nine pee em. He can get outside to do his chores as long as somebody’s there to work the door when he goes to it. If nobody comes, he…goes. That’s just life. But like us all he’s a creature of habit – once he knows when to expect me to arrive, he starts being able to hold it till I get there – except for the one at bedtime, when I never show up.

It’s kind of a pain, all this backing and forthing. This week I’m doing it for two bunches of animals widely separated, so the backing and forthing is pretty much all I’m accomplishing and that actually makes it not so bad. Plus Ghost, for all his foibles, is family and you do for family.

Plus, let’s face it, my end-of-life plan is pretty much reduced to hoping somebody will spare a back bedroom for the crotchety old blind guy whose Depends purchases are a household secret. So I guess I can put up with old Ghost for a while.

About Joel

You shouldn't ask these questions of a paranoid recluse, you know.
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6 Responses to I must like you, Ghost, or I wouldn’t do this.

  1. gojuplyr says:

    Ghost’s weight needs to drop. The additional weight is putting a lot of stress on his heart and joints. He needs to go on a diet. And yes, he will look at everyone with big sad eyes and act like he is being tortured.

  2. Mark Matis says:

    Don’t forget to mention the Vetprofen and Glucosamine/Chondroitin/MSM to S&L when they get back. That combination should make Ghost’s life less miserable. Of course, it might also help him live longer, so…

  3. LB says:

    My old dog’s hip pain got a lot better on Metacam (generic name: meloxicam).

  4. Kentucky says:

    “nine pee em”

    LMAO

  5. coloradohermit says:

    How we treat our “elders” gets us a lot of karma points, for better or worse. Your senior years are looking good Joel.

  6. Claire says:

    “He needs to go on a diet.”

    Certainly true. But Ghost moved in with S&L because … sausages! Somehow I don’t think softhearted, happy cook L is going to deprive him now, even for his own good.

    Heck, if she did, Ghost might get grumpy enough to move back in with Joel.

To the stake with the heretic!