I presume his full name is Zale Thompson Derka Derka Mohammed Jihad.

But then again maybe this is just workplace violence. Hey, weird things happen.

I kinda doubt it, though…a_zalethompsonGiven other things in the recent news, it would be a helluva coincidence if this guy turned out to be a Nordic Baptist who just decided it was a beautiful day to take a hatchet to a couple of cops. Assuming he really was practicing ecumenicism jihad-style, as I do assume, please sit back and join me in observing with dismay as the screeching jihadophobes, in partnership with every government on the continent, proceed to draw (and act upon) all the wrong conclusions.

For I wish to point out that this fellow fell prey to one of the classic blunders. And in NYC, he really had to go out of his way to do it. He (Yes, I’ll go here. I have no shame or sense of originality) brought a hatchet to a gunfight. He actually sought out four of the very few people on a NYC street absolutely guaranteed to be properly armed, and then he beaned one of them with a hatchet. The result was written:

“As he continued his assault, the remaining two officers then fired on the armed suspect who fell to the ground dropping the hatchet,” Bratton said. “The suspect was pronounced dead at the scene.”

So it didn’t work out very well for the guy with the hatchet*. But now one of two things will happen: Either the feds will decide and the State Media will report that Zale Thompson was actually a crazed Estwing salesman and this is just random workplace violence like the last time, or he really was a wannabe jihadi and we’ll all be directed to run in circles, wave our arms and cry for more protection.

Under no circumstances will a more logical lesson be drawn, nor will it be promulgated. Because that way lies chaos, of course. Self-reliance would be a terrible thing to ask of the lowing herd. No, what this situation will call for is more government.


*Nor, as Bear points out in the comments, for the innocent bystander gunned down by the crack NYPD sharpshooters.

About Joel

You shouldn't ask these questions of a paranoid recluse, you know.
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6 Responses to I presume his full name is Zale Thompson Derka Derka Mohammed Jihad.

  1. Bear says:

    “He actually sought out four of the very few people on a NYC street absolutely guaranteed to be properly armed…” but most likely to miss him anyway.

    FIFY.

    I note that of the four officers attacked, one (maybe; further down, it says two officers shot “at” the suspect… but maybe the second officer was the one who shot the innocent woman, putting her in the hospital in grave condition) hit him. And you did note this line? “A 29-year-old female bystander a half-a-block away from the attack was critically injured after being shot by an errant police round.” NYPD business as usual; I guess “Jihad”* Thompson figured his odds weren’t too bad.


    * “Thompson’s Facebook page features a photograph of a man dressed in Middle Eastern garb and a cover photo displaying Arabic writing.” For what it’s worth.

  2. Ken Hagler says:

    We can also be sure that whatever else happens, nobody in the media will point out that his choice of targets would make him a (really inept) guerrilla and not a terrorist at all.

  3. Bear says:

    Oh, Ken. Everyone knows that legal definition of terrorism about targeting civilians is old-fashioned, out-moded. Just like the Constitution.

    (In fact, redefining “terrorism” to get away from that whole “intimidate or coerce a civilian population” thing was necessary, or someone might notice that the government is intimidating and coercing the civilian population to scare them into accepting otherwise unacceptable changes.)

  4. Joel says:

    Bear, I have a confession to make. I did see the business about the innocent bystander who took a policeman’s bullet, but given that it was NYPD I didn’t find it remarkable enough to…remark upon. And it only just now occurred to me that that was kind of an omission on my part.

  5. GoneWithTheWind says:

    The NY liberals will use this crisis to call for more gun control.

  6. Queen Bee says:

    ”crazed Estwing salesman”

    That made me almost spew tea onto my laptop.

To the stake with the heretic!