In Praise of Seymour

Things have been placid in the two flocks. I moved Seymour to the big flock and right away started getting stressed-out hens and one injury, but I moved the four obvious malcontents to the Fortress of Attitude and things settled down in both locations pretty much immediately. Seymour’s still on report, and may still end up as roast high school principal, but right now things are going well.

In fact, Seymour works hard to fulfill his function.

He’s a rooster, and most of the time he only theoretically has any function. But this afternoon, in his opinion, the time had come for him to throw his tender young life between the flock and the Horrors of Nature.

I came by this morning, did a bunch of stuff, had my mind on the next chore, and apparently I forgot to latch the chickenhouse door. There was no wind, and so there was no immediate indication that I’d screwed up. But this afternoon the wind came up and blew the door open. I don’t know when, it could have been hours before my afternoon visit. I saw the door, looked around and didn’t see any loose chickens, went inside and only saw Seymour standing at the door between the chicken house and their fenced yard like Horatius at the bridge, gonna defend his hens. He saw me, sounded a warning and actually fluffed himself for righteous, futile battle. When I settled him down and got past him, there were nine stressed-out hens in the fenced yard all safe.

Funniest thing I’ve seen in a while: He was ready, gonna fight whatever came through that normally-closed door to the death. Would have been his death, but he was gonna do it.

About Joel

You shouldn't ask these questions of a paranoid recluse, you know.
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7 Responses to In Praise of Seymour

  1. Kentucky says:

    Bless his heart . . .

  2. Mark Matis says:

    And that is why, in spite of the entertainment he can cause, you want him around. You are out in the hinterlands and there is no shortage of predators who think chicken makes a nice snack. And there are times you will forget, like yesterday, where the pickin’s are easy. A rooster will do everything he can to protect the one thing he holds dear. And will give his life trying, no matter what the odds. You NEED something like that, given your current situation.

  3. Wolfman says:

    Can’t fault his gallantry, that’s for sure.

  4. Bill T says:

    Sounds like he needs to be renamed Horatius

  5. Mark Matis says:

    Of course, what you REALLY need is a buncha these suckas:

  6. Joel says:

    Wow. A coyote would either flee in terror at the sight of him, or drown in its own sudden-onset salivation. Wouldn’t care to bet on which it would be.

  7. Mark Matis says:

    Remember, Joel, that chickens will eat anything that won’t eat them. And sometimes die trying. My bet is on that chicken over any of your coyotes. Especially if he’s got a buncha hens to protect…

To the stake with the heretic!