Isn’t this just straight-up embezzlement?

All these strangers, wanting to give me money. I must be a helluva guy.

But most offers are more convoluted – or maybe just more incoherent – than this one…

Dear day Friend,

My name is Michael Kent I am the personal attorney/sole executor to my late client who shares similar Surname with you.

After the death of my client in an auto crash since the year 2007, the bank contacted me to provide his Next of kin to inherit his fortune totalling Thirty Seven Million United States Dollars (US$37,000,000.00) according to the existing banking policy.

I have written several letters to his country embassy with the intent of locating any of his immediate or extended family who will stand as the next of kin and all my efforts has been to no avail.

I have received official letters from the board of directors of the holding bank in the last few weeks suggesting a likely proceeding for confiscation of his abandoned personal assets in line with existing laws therefore I have been issued a 30 working days ultimatum to provide his next of kin or forfeit the deposit.

>From my professional experience I can use a legal means to re-profile and present you as the next of kin to my deceased client since you share same surname to enable you put a claim to the funds on our behalf.

Please kindly indicate your interest by sending me your direct telephone number to my private email address for verbal communication [redacted]

Yours sincerely,

Barr. Michael Kent

Call me paranoid but I picture this as some sort of DOJ “go directly to jail” phishing trip, like an FBI agent promising to give a 90-IQ jihadi wannabe lots of cool explosives…

About Joel

You shouldn't ask these questions of a paranoid recluse, you know.
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4 Responses to Isn’t this just straight-up embezzlement?

  1. Ben says:

    “I picture this as some sort of DOJ “go directly to jail” phishing trip,”

    I hate to break this to you Joel, but I don’t think that you (or I) are even close to being important enough to be on the DOJ’s radar. Occam,’s Razor says that this crude attempted scam is far more likely to have originated from some amateurish “Nigerian Prince” or similar scum.

  2. Joel says:

    Of course, yes. But in addition to my natural resistance to being scammed, I’m conditioned to believe that too much paranoia is far better than too little.

  3. Sevesteen says:

    I believe the people who say these are intentionally unbelievable by anyone of close to normal intelligence–that’s quicker than wasting time on someone who is greedy enough to investigate the initial pitch, but either bright enough or paranoid enough to avoid getting hooked.

  4. Unclezip says:

    You might be surprised at how often scams like this pay off. Send out 100K emails, and get just three or four hits, and it’s payday if just one of them bites. We’ve had to intervene for several elderly victims, who, because of their very real fright at being broke, will grasp at any straw. For a lot of them it’s a holdover from living through the Great Depression.

To the stake with the heretic!