Joel’s Goddam Law

M came in last night, planning to do some carpentry inside his dome so he needed the generator. There was some synchronicity going on there, because it happens I also needed it at the Lair. It’s time to cut out the OSB from the window frames, and the best tool for that is a SawZall. We’ve got two: a Ryobi cordless that kills batteries in moments, and a genuine 10-pound metal-frame Milwaukee SawZall that’s probably as old as I am. Even though it gets so hot you can’t use it without gloves, that’s the one to use. It’s got some serious power. To use it off the property you need the generator, but doing the job any other way would take days of waiting for batteries to recharge.

Anyway, we loaded the generator in M’s pickup and drove it to his dome. We couldn’t take it to the Lair in his truck, because…well, you just mustn’t do that. You could get to the Lair in a 2-wheel-drive, but the only way you’d ever get back out would be to wait till the wash floods and then drive it out quick while the sand is still firm. There are two ways to get a vehicle to the Lair: Through the wash, or down my driveway which has a 20-yard stretch that’s damned near 45 degrees. Even the Jeep spins its wheels so often getting up the driveway that I’m constantly having to fill in sand holes.

So when M was done with the genny for the day he helped me load it into the Jeep. I’d wondered if there was even room enough in the back of the Jeep for a generator. Turns out there just is. I left Little Bear at home, because he’d never hang around while I was working on the cabin, but let Ghost come with. He was a good boy, though he did complain about all the noise I was making. He had to run beside the Jeep from the Dome to the Lair, because M, the generator and I didn’t leave much room for dogs. But he likes to do that anyway. There were times last year when he refused to get in the Jeep, just because he wanted to race it.

We just left the genny in the Jeep, opened the rear door, and ran it there. M went back to his work. I unrolled a bunch of cable, plugged in the SawZall, and got to work.

When it comes to cutting OSB with a SawZall, it seems I’ve discovered a new law of the Universe. I think I’ll call it “Joel’s Goddam Law.” I’m still fine-tuning the language, so I’m not ready to present the paper to the International Goddam Law Institute just yet, but roughly it goes like this: “Independent of orientation or wind direction, the sawdust always goes in your face.” Seriously, there seems to be no escape. But fortunately I am now out of holes to cut, so from now on Joel’s Goddam Law is somebody else’s problem. Just remember, I named it first.

About Joel

You shouldn't ask these questions of a paranoid recluse, you know.
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4 Responses to Joel’s Goddam Law

  1. CorbinKale says:

    AHA! We are familiar with your law!

    Over the past three years, I helped my brother restore a twelve unit apartment complex that had fallen into ruin. All the plumbing and all the electrical had to be replaced. Much use was made of the sawsalls. With squinty eyes and gritted teeth, we would growl out the traditional, “Motherf—er!” Murphy’s Law was well-known to us, but the sawdust phenomenon didn’t quite seem to fit, as it wasn’t something going wrong, as much as it was just a consistent annoyance that DEFIED all known laws.

    My brother will be happy to hear there is a proper name to be cursed.

  2. Pat H. says:

    I first made major use of a Sawzall in about 1977, my father had one with the all metal case, circa roughly 1960 or older, it has its own metal box too, I borrowed it. I cut holes in walls in a house built in 1917, plaster/lathe construction. Dust, you don’t want to know.

    Although I have a newer Milwaukee Sawzall that runs off grid power, I recently acquired a new cordless DeWalt 36v unit, they have to use the term “reciprocating saw”, it does not run down the battery much, at least not while I cut through four 6×6 pressure treated timbers. Now, since I have this battery and charger, I acquired the circular saw that is likewise 36v and turns a standard 7 1/4 inch blade. Just the thing to use at the back of our 11 acres.

    Now I’m looking at their other 36v tools, they have a half inch impact wrench and a very powerful hammer/drill.

    It never ends.

  3. Joel says:

    Ah, yes – DeWalt. High on the list of things that make me wish I had money. *SIGH*

  4. wyowanderer says:

    Dust too. And now I know who to blame. I won’t name names, but it rhymes with Joel…

To the stake with the heretic!