Out where the wash hits a cliff and turns away from the cabin, there’s a single small cottonwood tree. They’re rare in the desert, always where they can find water, and this one’s mine. It never seems to grow, but otherwise it seems healthy and I like it.
This afternoon just before five Little Bear noticed a cow in its shade, and took offense.
I got tired of listening to him, and walked down the driveway to shoo it away. Just a cow, right?
Big cow, though. And there seemed to be another, in the bushes closer to the tree. Probably a calf…
And then it stood up. And up.
Definitely not a calf. Not a cow, either.
Enjoy the shade, bud. Er, I mean sir. Yup, you just take all the time you want in the shade of my…I mean our! Ha ha! Our!…cottonwood tree.
I watched my back all the way back up the driveway, and told Little Bear to find another hobby.
Next hoplophobe who tells me I shouldn’t carry a gun all the time, I’m feeding him to that guy.
Oh yes, and just imagine how big that bull would look if you were only 7 years old! My sister and I spent some time with relatives who told us not to go into the fenced area at the top of the canyon because of the bull. Nobody realized that two little girls from the desert had no idea what that meant. So, naturally curious, we climbed through the fence. Luckily, we didn’t stray too far because soon there was an unearthly noise and a MONSTER red and white animal – with LONG horns – came crashing through the brush and trees, charging right at us. We dove for the fence and somehow managed to get trough in time, but our clothes and skin had the marks of the barbed wire… so it was impossible not to confess that yes, we’d gone inside the fence. And we also had a much better idea what that warning had been all about.
Most people have no idea at all how big cow/steers actually are. Was coming home from work one day and a few calves were loose on the road so I stopped to shoo them back into their field and close the gate that was open. Two black angus steak factories were heading that way when I got there…both were as tall as I am at the shoulder.
This blog entry reminded me of this joke……
A DEA agent, together with an ATF and an FBI agent as part of a task force, arrive at a ranch in western Nebraska.
The agents tell the rancher, “We need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs.” The old rancher says, “Okay, but don’t go in that field over there.”
The DEA agent verbally explodes saying, “Mister, we have the authority of the Federal Government with us.” Reaching into his rear pocket and removing his badge, the agent proudly displays it to the farmer. “See this badge? This badge means we are allowed to go wherever we wish on any land. No questions asked nor answers given. Have I made myself clear? Do you understand?”
The old rancher nods politely and goes about his chores.
Later, the old rancher hears loud screams and spies the three agents running for their lives and close behind is the rancher’s bull. With every step the bull is gaining ground on the agents. They are clearly terrified. The old rancher immediately throws down his tools, runs to the fence, and yells at the top of his lungs… “Your badges! Show him your fucking badges!”
Love that old joke, in all its various flavors. Of course, now days the agents would simply shoot the bull the moment they saw it… maybe the rancher too.
Its amazing what they are capable of when they’re pissed off, too. Animals of that size and shape are the reasons for the creation of some really really big calibers, and even the mighty .44 Magnum wouldn’t be proof against it, were it properly incensed. That sort of encounter has the ability to change the arc of a dogs life- either scaring it straight, ending it outright, or sending it on an endless quest of vengeance against all things bovine shaped.
On the other hand, just think of the size of the stones on the person who decided he needed to domesticate that bad boy! I salute you, the very first cattleman! Lost in the swirling sands of time, you were no doubt a man who stood tall!
And lest you start thinking they are slow, plodding animals…. I rode bulls for a great many years and I once witnessed a bucking bull of about 1600 lbs with a full grown man on his back easily jump a 5′ hight solid pipe gate. My buddy in the coolest move I ever saw just stepped off and jumped right back over the gate. Bovines can be incredibly athletic given the right motivation.
Yup, 1000+ pounds of mean and stupid. Tasty, tasty mean and stupid. we had a cattle ranch 300 yards from where I grew up. They had Brahma or two. Mean, stupid, strong as hell. We would taunt them to get them to ram the gates. And ram they did. It’s a wonder they never broke through. Had they done so, we’d have likely been dead.
That’s a funny thing, there are Brahma in Philippines. They are nowhere near as aggressive there.