They say they want to kill every rat, possum and stoat
– which I think is a pig – in all New Zealand. I say you could carpet bomb NZ with napalm and not exterminate the rats and possums. Not so sure about the pigs.
Okay, I had to look up what a stoat is. Turns out to be a sort of weasel, rather like a ferret. Maybe it is a ferret.
My prediction: At best this extermination program will fail ignominiously. At worst it’ll wipe out a lot of things besides rats, possums and weasels.
Their spoken reason for this jihad is to save native species. Any extermination program that could rid a subcontinent of Norway rats is absofrickin’lutely guaranteed to kill every last kiwi first.
No, Mr. Key. You’re stuck with the rats. You can keep the weasels down by putting a YUUUGE bounty on them and marketing the hides. To convince people to hunt out the possums, you’ll need a really good incentive. I suggest forgetting the poison, traps, napalm and air-dropped nerve agents, and just broadcast Alabama possum recipes.
Maybe you should give this one a miss…