What size trap for elephant?
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They say that Louis XIV had the inscription Ultima Ratio Regum cast into all the cannon of the French Army. It means “The Ultimate Argument of Kings,” and that always struck me as one of the most honest and up-front things any ruler or would-be ruler ever said. “We can dress it up prettier than this, but when it comes down to the unvarnished truth this is what it’s about: You’ll do as I say or I’ll send my goons to kill you.”
I thought about that for a long time. If there’s an ultimate argument, it seems only logical that there must be an ultimate answer. For years I thought the ultimate answer must be the bullets in my rifle, but it never seemed quite right. I’ve got bullets – he’s got frigging Cannon Balls. I mean, if there were three hundred million rifles throwing bullets at him, then maybe. But we all know that’s not going to happen. So if there’s an ultimate answer to his ultimate argument, it sure as hell ain’t bullets.
It finally came to me – and that’s when I abandoned the city and most of my stuff, and gave all that was behind me a good stiff Randian Shrug.
The ultimate answer to kings is not a bullet, but a belly laugh.
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Previous OPSEC Violations
Jumbo size!
Not HIS fault; he thought it was a malfunctioning Mr. coffee.
Bigger.
Always bigger
I think I’d prefer .700 nitro or 4 bore. Well, maybe prefer isn’t the right word…
With an entire 25-pound wheel of cheddar cheese for bait. Or a 55-gallon barrel of peanut butter. Crunchy.
Was reverse gear an optional extra on that model?
The person, or persons in that car are damn lucky.
All kidding aside I have seen what happens first hand when I person gets gored by an elephant. On my case the person was a keeper at the zoo where I work who went in to an enclosure (real stupid) to separate two elephants who were fighting. One of the elephants turned on him and put 4 holes about an inch in diameter into his front and back. If you can picture being stabbed with a blunt broom handle to a depth of around 8 inches and the blunt broom handle being covered in fecal matter, well you get the picture. The keeper lived but was on the OR table for around 10 hours while they cleaned all the stuff out of him.
@ wyowanderer – As for dealing with an elephant that goes rogue our vets will trank it if possible, if not then we use a .458 Winchester magnum.
When I first saw this on the Internet the caption said the elephant was in heat and trying to mate with the vehicle, and part of the video was a very graphic shot of the elephant doing male mating appropriate actions with the hood of the vehicle. When the vehicle did not respond positively the elephant stomped it. There are sooooo many reasons why that was way more funny.