Paint it green, pt. 2 – and a new porch

When BB was here last month he subsidized this season’s paint. I got a big five-gallon pail of pretty much the right shade of green, but it seems more glossy than I expect in a semi-gloss.

Or maybe that’s just because the previous coat had much of a year to lose its shine, I dunno.

Anyway, I’m happy to report that with the exception of that one high bit over the addition, which I’ll definitely get to, the Secret Lair has an all-around new coat of paint.

And now I’m moving on to the first bit of real construction – the Secret Lair is getting a real front porch!

That’s right, you heard it here first. Plans for the Real Porch have progressed in stages, and were never driven by any idea of mine. Frankly, I had plans to pour a slab at the rear and construct some real rear stairs, but nothing like a front porch was on my original plan for this building season. No – Big Brother first coerced me into building a proper – and no doubt safer – utilitarian porch, and even brought sufficient 3/4″ exterior plywood for the deck. Then last weekend Landlady, upon hearing of the plan, insisted that the porch must be – and I believe I’m using her exact word here – “cute.”

“Cute,” according to Landlady’s definition, contains two specific and non-negotiable elements. It must cover the entire front of the (main part of the) cabin, and it must have a proper railing. I always planned a railing, that’s what I meant above by safer. But upon having my notion of a railing explained and demonstrated – basically what I did for the loft railing, which is some 1-by capping 4X4s – she made clear that that would not pass any criterion for cuteness. I believe we’re actually talking about railings that have known the gentle caress of a lathe at some point in their existence. Not at all clear on how much that costs or how I’m paying for it, but in case of financial failure I can always default to the original railing scheme.

At one point she actually pouted, I swear it’s true. I drew a bright red Obamean line at Victorian gingerbread, and she affected insult and claimed she had never suggested such a thing.

So anyway…

porchI had all the materials I needed for Porch, Front, Secret Lair, Mk. I. Not so much for Mk. II. But she gave me permission (with no written authorization of which I’m aware, but if Ian reads this and takes exception he should see her about it) to raid some large scraps from Ian’s porch roof project of last year, and between that and what Big Brother brought me there really is enough material for decking. I’ve got lots of salvaged linear lumber, and I sincerely hope enough 4X4 for the uprights. All I lacked that I can’t scrounge for myself was two more of those concrete pier thingies, and she has promised to bring me two on her next visit, which is scheduled for weekend after next.

So the next project is to start laying out the Secret Lair’s new – cute – porch.

About Joel

You shouldn't ask these questions of a paranoid recluse, you know.
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13 Responses to Paint it green, pt. 2 – and a new porch

  1. Kentucky says:

    Pouting? As in extended lower lip and lowered gaze with fluttering eyelashes?

    You are doomed. Doomed, I say.

  2. Joel says:

    Something along those lines, I suppose. Haven’t researched it at all yet. Certainly not interested in paying that much per railing, though.

  3. Kentucky says:

    If she writes the CUTE specs . . . she pays the bill.

  4. Get enough coats of paint on that and you’ll have structural paint!

    If either of you likes the idea of wrought iron railing – there’s a building salvage outfit that LL might want to take a look at. Gerson’s – E-ish of downtown. Last time I was there they had scads of wrought iron in their uncovered outside area. Tons of goodies at that place and the prices seem reasonable. Sometimes you can get salvage for less than you can build it yourself… Transportation might be a pain – but a sawzall and a welder on the other end might make it work.

  5. anonymous says:

    I don’t know if this is coincidence or not, but when we used a glossy green paint for painting a deer blind (elevated shooting platform), woodpeckers seemed to avoid knocking holes into that unit much less than others without it. Dunno why – maybe reflection scared them off ? Anyway, just an observation.

    Good luck with your new build project – I know how valued a shady spot in the desert is.

  6. jabrwok says:

    Ben, given Joel’s situation, he might prefer to go this route:

  7. Landlady says:

    I *never* pout!

  8. Landlady says:

    sits in a corner pouting

  9. Andrew says:

    Anonymous at 3:27. Weird, huh? To me it seems that glossy paint seals better and wears better. Noticed the same thing with squirrels and carpenter ants where I used to live. Dumb-arsed critters would bother the semi-gloss but leave the gloss alone.

  10. John says:


  11. Ben says:

    It seems to me that I’ve had more bad behavior, such as cracking and peeling, with gloss paint.

To the stake with the heretic!