Prepper pro-tip: freezing in the dark is not restful.

In fact it turns the minutes to hours. Picture this: It’s 3am and you’re awake because who could sleep? You’re shivering cold in a space you can’t effectively heat, in darkness you can’t comfortingly light. Prepare for a long, memorable wait for sunup, bunky.

It won’t kill you. er…It probably won’t kill you. But it will make you review your sins, and you’ll have lots of leisure time to do it. No phone, no lights, no motor car – more importantly no effective heater. Cold. Dark. Nothing to break the tedium or keep you company but the pain in your fingers and toes. Some coffee would be nice – but you can’t make coffee since you see from the bulging jugs that your drinking water has frozen. If there’s snow outside your tent or RV or whatever you’d better get to gathering some. You’ll need a surprisingly large amount, in case you didn’t know.

Freezing in the dark really sucks, is all I’m saying. Doing it over and over from late November to sometime in April sucks in a memorable – I’m tempted to insert “traumatic” here – manner. It will truly make you ponder the sanity of mountain men who allegedly used to do things like that voluntarily. Personally I commit the heresy of suspecting that the sane ones came down and got townie jobs through the winter, but that’s just me.

You know what else it’ll make you do? Years later, on an early Winter morning when you wake up at 3am just ’cause you gotta pee, to a snug cabin with functioning propane for the cookstove and water that flows from the tap and a bulging woodshed and walls that keep out the cold and a good power system that keeps out the dark, it makes you smile and wave a jaunty middle finger to the past, that’s what.

Have a nice morning, y’all.

About Joel

You shouldn't ask these questions of a paranoid recluse, you know.
This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to Prepper pro-tip: freezing in the dark is not restful.

  1. jabrwok says:

    No phone, no lights, no motor car

    Not a single luxury…

    Good to know that that’s changed for the better:-).

  2. free.and.true says:

    “Freezing in the dark really sucks, is all I’m saying. Doing it over and over from late November to sometime in April sucks in a memorable – I’m tempted to insert “traumatic” here – manner. ”

    Can confirm.

    Glad we both have found kinder, gentler arrangements.

  3. Mike says:

    That “cold/wet/tired/hungry all at once” feeling, is something which a majority will never experience. Lucky that for you, your intelligence and perseverance won the day.

  4. Tennessee Budd says:

    Don’t want to sound like a Vagina Slimes (or was that Benson & Hedges?) commercial, but Joel, you’ve come a long way, baby! I can only imagine how good it must feel to review your progress from then to now.

  5. anonymous says:

    Found this out accidentally …

    I was asleep and covered with a light muslin cover. I was wakened in middle of night because of a cold front that blew through and was dang cold. I thought I had the bedspread nearby, and reached for it – found I had the mattress slip cover instead. I wrapped myself and was very surprised how quickly it warmed up. The outside temperatures were in the 30 range, not real subarctic cold, but I was toasty warm and would bet a doughnut that this will work down to outside temps of 20 and above.

    Once you are up, the G.I. M65 jacket liner is an awesome piece of gear. Just don’t get it near flame – the material is not fire retardent, in fact i would not be surprised to find that nitrocellulose is part of the composition, lol. Richard Pryor nods sagely – not a good plan.

To the stake with the heretic!