There’s probably a book about this somewhere.
Oh, hell. Who am I kidding? There’s probably a whole literary genre about this. People like to mock selfies, and I’ve joined in even though – just like probably 98% of the other mockers – I’m not above stooping to it myself for a laugh.
It turns out that, to go with that shelf-full of theoretical books, there’s a whole technology involved. No, I’m not talking about selfie sticks, available even in the crappy market in the crappy town nearest where I live, right next to the – er, spinny toy thingies, whatever they’re called. No, I mean gadgetry built right into this cool Magic Elf Box* that Landlady gave me last week. I discovered by accident the button that turns the iPhone’s very high-quality camera into a creepy stalker gadget and decided to see if I could get a pic of me and LB.
But it’s difficult to hold the damn thing out in such a way that you not only get what you want in frame but also have a digit free to push the now not-very-ergonomic button. So I accidentally mashed the button while trying to get us both properly in frame, and the phone/camera/tablet/PDA/federally-mandated covert surveillance device started making an alarming whirring noise exactly like one of those motor-driven SLR cameras the sports photographers used to get decent shots at tennis matches and the like. And upon examination it turned out I’d just shot 45 pictures and would I like to review them? Yeah, I figured I kinda would.
Most were trash, of course. Most of the expensive film in those even-more-expensive motor-driven SLRs was wasted too, but with digital files you can afford to not give a damn. There actually was one or two I wouldn’t have rejected even if they hadn’t been accidents.
*Courtesy of Tam.