I keep two open cans, opening a fresh one whenever one of the two is emptied. No matter that it’s always a bowlful of warm slop, at least you never quite know what the new one’s going to taste like. And really, it’s always quite tasty.
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They say that Louis XIV had the inscription Ultima Ratio Regum cast into all the cannon of the French Army. It means “The Ultimate Argument of Kings,” and that always struck me as one of the most honest and up-front things any ruler or would-be ruler ever said. “We can dress it up prettier than this, but when it comes down to the unvarnished truth this is what it’s about: You’ll do as I say or I’ll send my goons to kill you.”
I thought about that for a long time. If there’s an ultimate argument, it seems only logical that there must be an ultimate answer. For years I thought the ultimate answer must be the bullets in my rifle, but it never seemed quite right. I’ve got bullets – he’s got frigging Cannon Balls. I mean, if there were three hundred million rifles throwing bullets at him, then maybe. But we all know that’s not going to happen. So if there’s an ultimate answer to his ultimate argument, it sure as hell ain’t bullets.
It finally came to me – and that’s when I abandoned the city and most of my stuff, and gave all that was behind me a good stiff Randian Shrug.
The ultimate answer to kings is not a bullet, but a belly laugh.
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Tasty, warm slop. Could be way, way worse.
😉
I’m no expert, but”tasty warm slop” nicely describes the military rations I have sampled.
Hm. I’ve eaten C-rats and MREs by the case. They can be warmed, but in my experience they can’t be made tasty.
Well, you know. They taste like something, but…
I cleaned up some of my “secret store-room of emergency supplies” the other day, and found some single serve soups that had a “best before” date back in 2009.
Heated in the microwave as per instructions, they smelled, looked, and tasted fine.
No intestinal eruptions resulted, so I guess they actually WERE fine.
Heh! My wife is one who thinks the “use by” or “best before” dates are the date to dump the can/box/container. I keep explaining that those dates are the ones the manufacturer thinks are the best for their balance sheet and maybe also their estimation on the flavor being “acceptable”. The food inside will keep for years past that date and probably will retain nourishment if not flavor until the end of time. So, we have two sections in the pantry – that which she will use and that which I will eat some day (not she) . Of course cans that are expanding or leaking get tossed, no issue and some pastas do get rancid about a year past the date due to the oils oxidizing.
Geeze Joel, you must have gotten a whole semi load of those old Mountain House foods! I appreciate your reviews and it gives me hope for some of the old pre Y2K cans I’ve accumulated over time.
Five full cases! Enough for quicky lunches for quite a while.
I just remembered . . . I have an unopened case of MREs I acquired in the last few months of 1999, safely stored in a cool, dry corner of the basement . . .