Upgrayedd gets upgraded

To something useful.

Do not, under any circumstances, screw with Uncle Joel.

Do not, under any circumstances, screw with Uncle Joel.

I don’t think butchering chickens will ever be my favorite thing. But this time I took steps to alleviate the part I dislike most, which is that it stinks. Upgrayedd is my fourth butchered chicken, and every time (except the time I did it in Landlady’s house) it stank up the Lair for the whole day. So I asked Landlady if she’d mind my taking an old bar sink that’s been laying around her barn, and put together a quick’n’dirty processing station.


And even as improvised as it is it worked pretty well, though it could stand to be about one block higher.

Ghost usually ignores the “Uncle Joel’s cutting off a chicken’s head” drama, but this time he reacted a bit strangely. Right after the deed, while I was washing off the hatchet he got positively obsequious for a few minutes, like he wanted to be assured that I still loved him. Then he settled down and forgot the whole thing. Maybe it’s because this is the first time I’ve offed a chicken he actually knew, and he took it kind of personally.

LB, as usual, was all “Meh. As long as it’s not me.”

I confess I had some performance anxiety about this one, akin to the first one I did. Unlike the others, Upgrayedd was nearly full-grown and had a lot of attitude. It would have been really embarrassing to mess up by letting him escape or something. Finally I loaded the .44 with birdshot in case I couldn’t control him at the chopping block. If I couldn’t cut off his head I’d shoot him in it – either way he was going to the freezer.

About Joel

You shouldn't ask these questions of a paranoid recluse, you know.
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6 Responses to Upgrayedd gets upgraded

  1. MamaLiberty says:

    If it is any comfort, after the first hundred or so, your reaction will pretty much match that of LB…

    But the mental picture of the .44 standing by is priceless. 🙂 I never had a rooster quite that bad ass.

  2. coloradohermit says:

    Although far less colorful, ungrayedd looks excellent. And kudos on the processing station. It looks very efficient. I think you’re catching on to this chicken thing.

  3. Stephen says:

    I butchered hundreds as a kid raised on a farm. We’d just jerk by the neck and wring it a few times and let ’em bounce. I hated the process of dipping them in hot water to remove their feathers. It gets easier.

  4. Roger says:

    About 2000 chickens in we stopped plucking and went to skinning. I will never pluck another chicken.


  5. MamaLiberty says:

    You got that right, Roger. All of the older chickens that were destined for stew or soup were skinned. I did do the pluck routine for a few nice fryers once in a while, but not often. I did pluck the turkeys, however. Skinned one, but the meat was dry and tough when roasted, even with constant basting. The skin protects the meat in that case. Maybe would be ok for the deep fryer method, don’t know. Never did that.

  6. Joel says:

    Yeah, so far I’ve skinned them all. Figure it’s just as well since they’re not destined for roasting. Next year we’re going to raise some meat birds, and I’ll have to find a stock pot to loosen the feathers in because those will have to be plucked. I don’t want to ruin a roaster it took five months to raise, just because I didn’t want to spend an hour (or however long it takes) plucking.

To the stake with the heretic!