We have *thoroughly* settled the question of whether Torso Boy is snake averse.

For the record, Torso Boy is an idiot.

We went out for the evening walky, same as we do every day around this time. Usual routine, he’d have a pee in his regular spot and then we’d saunter together down the driveway, take a turn around this one juniper and head back at the foot of the ridge along a path we’ve trampled together, and somewhere along there he’d take a nice dump.

Except we never got past the pee spot, because Dipshit the Corgi found a bull snake. Now, last year around this time he was just obliviously walking along and stepped on one, and I saw the snake ahead of time and let it happen. He found the whole thing startling but not as alarming as the snake did. THIS time, he saw the snake ahead of time and moved in for a very excited sniff. I did not see it starting, and if it had been a rattler I’d be holding him down through the convulsions rather than calmly writing this.

Another 3-foot mama, wanting no trouble with this furry lunatic. I kind of wish it had been a baby, because they’re excitable and hostile and it would probably have done him good to learn that snakes bite and snake bites hurt. This one just wanted to get away and heal from the trauma, which is why I didn’t get a very good picture afterward…


I cut this pic bigger than usual but you’ll only see its head and tail portions; the rest are coiled up under the corner of the trashcan corral and when I went closer for a better pic it pulled in those ends. Poor thing just wanted the world to go away for a while.

It was funny but also not funny, because if TB tries that with a rattler and I’m as oblivious to the situation as I was this time I’ll be burying the little idiot and feeling really bad about it.

About Joel

You shouldn't ask these questions of a paranoid recluse, you know.
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6 Responses to We have *thoroughly* settled the question of whether Torso Boy is snake averse.

  1. Mike says:

    Bull snakes/gopher snakes are cool. Back when I was a kid in the 50s in Western Colorado my grandfather had one that moved into his house and helped with pest control. It came and went via a gap in the kitchen floor. Spent winters curled on a shelf in the pantry. On warm days he would go outside and sun himself on a concrete cistern covering. Didn’t like being touched and would bite if provoked. Made a pretty good house guest: quiet, clean and took care of himself.

  2. TK421a says:

    TB isn’t that much of an idiot, he just comes from a home where stuff like this wasn’t very common. 🙂

  3. matismf says:

    Shame on you for trying to kill that poor snake with a jack stand!

  4. DT says:

    Wait…pink jack stands?

  5. Joel says:

    😀 If you laid out in the sun as long as those jackstands have you’d turn pink too.

  6. Pink jack stands = paint left over from a certain AK47?

To the stake with the heretic!