Other hermits have life-changing spiritual epiphanies. I’m told.
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They say that Louis XIV had the inscription Ultima Ratio Regum cast into all the cannon of the French Army. It means “The Ultimate Argument of Kings,” and that always struck me as one of the most honest and up-front things any ruler or would-be ruler ever said. “We can dress it up prettier than this, but when it comes down to the unvarnished truth this is what it’s about: You’ll do as I say or I’ll send my goons to kill you.”
I thought about that for a long time. If there’s an ultimate argument, it seems only logical that there must be an ultimate answer. For years I thought the ultimate answer must be the bullets in my rifle, but it never seemed quite right. I’ve got bullets – he’s got frigging Cannon Balls. I mean, if there were three hundred million rifles throwing bullets at him, then maybe. But we all know that’s not going to happen. So if there’s an ultimate answer to his ultimate argument, it sure as hell ain’t bullets.
It finally came to me – and that’s when I abandoned the city and most of my stuff, and gave all that was behind me a good stiff Randian Shrug.
The ultimate answer to kings is not a bullet, but a belly laugh.
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You will do.
You’ll definitely do. At least you wash now and then, unlike some more famous hermits. And your midnight revelations almost never result in wars, inquisitions, hellfire threats, or other inconveniences commonly brought about by spiritual revelations.
I don’t know. What would be a better class of hermit? You bought a lottery ticket; won; and decided to give the proceeds to your readers cause you don’t want it?
That would be a pretty darned good class of hermit, Judy. Don’t hold your breath. 🙂
But no, just sometimes I think if I had any sort of class I’d be an eremite, growing my own weeds and reading the bible and Ravens Bread till enlightenment struck. As it is, spirituality in general – and Christianity in particular – are of no interest to me, I have a black thumb, I wouldn’t begin to know how to weave a prayer rope, and I’ve just sort of settled for “paranoid recluse.”
It’s like, I’m not dumb but none of the things intellectuals do interest me, and I always felt kind of bad about that.