You don’t need weapons, citizen. The police are here to protect you society as a whole.

But to do so efficiently, they must ensure that they get home at night. Which is why Officer Safety is Paramount. There are lots of citizens, after all, and only so many officers.

Of all the dead puppy, wrong-house raid, handcuffed-and-proned subject shooting, shoot yourself demonstrating your expertise and respect-ma-authoritah skateboarder beatdown cop stories that ever spiked this old man’s blood pressure, I do believe that this one – this one – is the pièce de résistance. Seriously, this one is a masterpiece. All the other bad cops can go home now, they will never top this bad cop story no matter how they try.

A man who was brutally stabbed by Brooklyn subway slasher Maksim Gelman two years ago had his negligence case against the city dismissed in court yesterday, despite the fact that two transit officers had locked themselves in a motorman’s car only a few feet from him at the time of the attack.

Gelman stabbed Joseph Lozito in the face, neck, hands and head on an uptown 3 train in February 2011, after fatally stabbing four people and injuring three others in a 28-hour period. Lozito, a father of two and an avid martial arts fan, was able to tackle Gelman and hold him down, and Gelman was eventually arrested by the transit officers. Lozito sued the city, arguing that the police officers had locked themselves in the conductor’s car and failed to come to his aid in time.

The city, meanwhile, claimed that the NYPD had no “special duty” to intervene at the time, and that they were in the motorman’s car because they believed Gelman had a gun. And Manhattan Supreme Court Justice Margaret Chan has sided with the city, noting that there was no evidence the cops were aware Lozito was in danger at the time.

Where…do you even…start?

No, no, of course I’m aware that the police have no duty to protect you. That’s very old news. I’m surprised Lozito even found a lawyer willing to sue.

They locked themselves in the motorman’s car until the danger was over? There were two of them! They were carrying guns! The bad guy was a notorious slasher! He literally brought a knife to a gunfight! It doesn’t get better than this. It was the bust of a career, they could have drunk free beer for the rest of their lives on one risk-free takedown, and they locked themselves in the motorman’s compartment?

And their defense is…they weren’t aware anybody was in danger at the time. Oh, yeah. Close down the internets. We’re done here.

About Joel

You shouldn't ask these questions of a paranoid recluse, you know.
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5 Responses to You don’t need weapons, citizen. The police are here to protect you society as a whole.

  1. Dick says:

    NY finest, the same group that needed 6 cops and 100s of rounds to stop one assailant …… yeah I don’t expect them to protect but they should at least serve.

  2. Jay says:

    protect society in principal…not reality. Com’on, Joel, surely you can recognize men of principal.

    As in…Principally we shoot chihuahuas.

  3. Anonymous says:

    I just like that they hid in the motorman’s car because they thought the killer had a gun… but had no idea Lozito might be in danger. Can we call that “backup truth”, in case your first story falls through?

  4. muddome says:

    We just had some cops up here shoot a kid with a knife in an empty transit car, wait a bit, shoot him again several times. Nine shots in total. Then when the dust settled one of the cops went up and tasered him. I’m sure the taser was to build a cover story, but good luck with that, the whole thing was caught on video.

  5. Joseph’s book: The New York City Subway Hero: My Battle with Evil and a Spree Killer

To the stake with the heretic!