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They say that Louis XIV had the inscription Ultima Ratio Regum cast into all the cannon of the French Army. It means “The Ultimate Argument of Kings,” and that always struck me as one of the most honest and up-front things any ruler or would-be ruler ever said. “We can dress it up prettier than this, but when it comes down to the unvarnished truth this is what it’s about: You’ll do as I say or I’ll send my goons to kill you.”
I thought about that for a long time. If there’s an ultimate argument, it seems only logical that there must be an ultimate answer. For years I thought the ultimate answer must be the bullets in my rifle, but it never seemed quite right. I’ve got bullets – he’s got frigging Cannon Balls. I mean, if there were three hundred million rifles throwing bullets at him, then maybe. But we all know that’s not going to happen. So if there’s an ultimate answer to his ultimate argument, it sure as hell ain’t bullets.
It finally came to me – and that’s when I abandoned the city and most of my stuff, and gave all that was behind me a good stiff Randian Shrug.
The ultimate answer to kings is not a bullet, but a belly laugh.
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Author Archives: Joel
Better yet, let’s try NOT doing that.
Senator Schumer, I roll my eyes in your general direction. Bring a chart to Thanksgiving dinner to bash GOP tax plan, Schumer says Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer told his Twitter followers Tuesday to prepare for tax politics at the … Continue reading
Isn’t it sad that, at the passing of a sixties entertainer who was quite popular when I was young, all I can think to say is, …
“I have no idea what his politics were, and I find that endearing even though his music was insipid like unto the Archies.” RIP, I suppose.
I yelled “Don’t look, Ethel!”
But it was too late. She’d already been diversified. h/t
Honestly, I don’t have the slightest idea what this is supposed to prove.
Uh, This Flat Earther’s Homemade Manned Rocket Launch Does Not Sound Totally Advisable I’ve launched several rockets in the Mojave, and assisted with many more. Great fun. If someone had suggested that I build a big one and climb in … Continue reading
Yike. Acknowledgements and a little backstory…
Guys, yesterday’s post was just blathering in lieu of something better to write about, it wasn’t intended as a complaint or a bleg. Appreciate the thought, though. I got the following email from the Gulch’s high-power New York CFO: You … Continue reading
In which, having nothing else to talk about,…
…I’m reduced to showing you a picture of my lunch. To make money you have to spend money – I have another dog-and-horse-feeding gig on the other side of the plateau coming up in two weeks, which means I’ll need … Continue reading
In a month this will seem balmy.
Nineteen degrees outside and falling. Woke at six to a lovely cool bedroom, thermometer says 53 which is perfect sleeping weather without having to pile the blankets a foot high. That new space heater works perfectly. Couldn’t say the same … Continue reading
My own private little mountain range…
Should have gone out and taken the picture a few minutes earlier, when the hollow was still completely in shadow. This time of year is the only time you can get that shot, with the cliff on the far side … Continue reading
The only thing more tiresome than privileged people exempting themselves from the rules…
…is privileged people acting sanctimonious when the rules momentarily become convenient and other privileged people go under the bus. The news has been full of rich’n’famous people dealing with accusations, often decades old, about things they’ve been doing with their … Continue reading
I was recently attacked and wounded by a local animal.
She’s much larger in person, let me tell you. She’s Maya (not actually shown in the photo,) a 12-year-old blind and deaf and really cranky Shih Tzu who has never liked me. Normally she puts up with me after a … Continue reading
If I can’t have decent coffee, I don’t want to be in your apocalypse.
Regular readers know I’m addicted to one import from cities far, far away… Trader Joe’s house blend, only whole bean need apply. Normally we keep around three cans in stock here, but with one thing or another we’re down to … Continue reading
Luxury costs
Of course the big question, not yet answered, was never “Do I want a space heater with a thermostat?” Duh. Of course I do. I also want a silent VTOL and the power of invisibility, but I can’t have them. … Continue reading
Luxury!
Oh, yeah. That’s what I’ve been missing all these years. This was the first really frosty morning in a couple of weeks, as winter probes our defenses for weaknesses. I’ve learned a new life lesson: If you want your shelter … Continue reading
Redneck roof repair
In our last exciting episode we learned that some errant wind gust had tried to take the powershed’s roof off. I found that unacceptable, but had to think a bit as to how I was going to crank the frame … Continue reading
Oh, my goodness. Speaking of Little Bear…
I was just giving his face a good rub when I noticed something I’ve been waiting for… Look who’s getting gray on his muzzle! He was born in early March 2009, so he’s pushing 9 years old. Doesn’t seem so … Continue reading
LB’s means of communicating with the local wildlife…
One reason for the morning walkie is to give Little Bear a chance to sniff out local doings. He’s a dog, and they say scent means more to dogs than sight or sound. I don’t know if that’s true, but … Continue reading
I almost lost the powershed roof.
And I don’t even know when it happened. I happened to be up on a ladder inside the powershed Saturday, doing some unrelated maintenance. I looked at the roof over the door and thought to myself, “Why did I go … Continue reading
What a difference a curtain makes…
Okay, so Friday I … hung curtains. Yeah. That happened. Shut up. Reasons for this were entirely practical, basically all the reasons you’d want curtains on a window including, believe it or not, “people looking in.” Anyway: Having actual storebought … Continue reading
Things you can make with 550 cord…
Well, let’s face it. You can make anything with 550 cord. I’m currently macrame-ing an evil TUAKmobile with JATO bottles, ejection capsule and quad 20mm autocannon. It’s not going well: Do you know how much Arrest-me Red 550 cord costs? … Continue reading









































