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They say that Louis XIV had the inscription Ultima Ratio Regum cast into all the cannon of the French Army. It means “The Ultimate Argument of Kings,” and that always struck me as one of the most honest and up-front things any ruler or would-be ruler ever said. “We can dress it up prettier than this, but when it comes down to the unvarnished truth this is what it’s about: You’ll do as I say or I’ll send my goons to kill you.”
I thought about that for a long time. If there’s an ultimate argument, it seems only logical that there must be an ultimate answer. For years I thought the ultimate answer must be the bullets in my rifle, but it never seemed quite right. I’ve got bullets – he’s got frigging Cannon Balls. I mean, if there were three hundred million rifles throwing bullets at him, then maybe. But we all know that’s not going to happen. So if there’s an ultimate answer to his ultimate argument, it sure as hell ain’t bullets.
It finally came to me – and that’s when I abandoned the city and most of my stuff, and gave all that was behind me a good stiff Randian Shrug.
The ultimate answer to kings is not a bullet, but a belly laugh.
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Author Archives: Joel
This is probably a little silly…
When I cleaned out Former Neighbor J’s place last year, most of the contents ending up at the local thrift store, I found a spearhead threaded to go on a painting pole. FNJ had gone through a ‘primitive weapon’ phase … Continue reading
You kids today. In my day, the Internet was called “Books.”
Wishing to experiment with some loads using a brand of powder I’d never heard of before this month, every dead-tree reloading manual I own let me down. Fortunately I could download the needed data, and even more fortunately that tablet … Continue reading
Look who’s coming back to the Lair!
I’m waiting for a phone call from S&L who are going back to the city for a week to house-sit for their kids, and Ghost isn’t coming. Ghost is a drama queen about strange houses in strange places, and will … Continue reading
At least somebody’s taking advantage of it…
I don’t know if the #armthegays thing is getting takers in any significant numbers or not. Hope so. As of about three days ago there were more than 1000 volunteers, but I haven’t found any sign that any of them … Continue reading
Three and a quarter tons
The garbage haulers finally got around to picking up that big dumpster I filled in last month’s paying gig. They weigh it on a truck scale before dumping it, since the renters are charged for content by the ton, so … Continue reading
I wouldn’t limit it to democrats, but otherwise yeah.
h/t Kentucky
Y’know, I think it’s finally starting to grow on me.
I’ve never really had a reason to hate it, except pure bigotry against Communists. It’s really a much better pistol than it has any right to be. It’s completely reliable and – given it’s basically a Walther PP ripoff* with … Continue reading
Score, sort of
Well, they didn’t have a pouch that would fit my knife, but they did have three different kinds of 9mm Mak ammo. So it wasn’t a wasted trip. 100 rounds of Serbian ball – seems like only yesterday our elected … Continue reading
I expect a complete emotional breakdown later…
Not really, I’m not quite that much of a snowflake and anyway this has never proven stressful before. But I am doing something a bit unusual this morning, I’m taking a half-day jaunt to the bigger town about 35 miles … Continue reading
“Your bourgeois logic has no effect upon me. I am impervious to it.”
@seanmdav i'm calling semi-automatic machines machine guns. You don't get to pick my terms. Your NRA buzzwords don't apply to me — Jason La Canfora (@JasonLaCanfora) June 22, 2016 I may have to get myself one of those “Twitter account” … Continue reading
Are you serious? Are you serious?
JUST IN: Democrats staging sit-in on US House floor, reading the names of victims of gun violence – @LukeRussert pic.twitter.com/8bx3o6kjQc — NBC Nightly News (@NBCNightlyNews) June 22, 2016 Great to see our former colleague now in the Senate, @ChrisMurphyCT, on … Continue reading
Taking weirdness to extremes…
I think I’m going to call her Adie. Short for Arrested Development. And when I cull out the other defective/unproductive hens, I think I’m going to let her live. Why not? She doesn’t eat much, she doesn’t have hardly any … Continue reading
Where have you gone, Efrem Zimbalist Jr? Our nation turns its lonely eyes to you.
Hey, you know that guy who shot up that gay nightclub in Orlando? And how his wife was maybe an accomplice? The FBI didn’t want to disturb her in her grief, you know, because she’s Muslim and all and they’re … Continue reading
When the Wicked Witch of the West looks happy, that’s when you get scared.
What’s the word for something that happens twice a decade?
Semidecennial? The Jeep’s oil change interval isn’t quite that bad. But it’s pretty bad. I need to have the money, need to remember to get oil and filter while I’m in town, need to have the want-to (and you spend … Continue reading
Ode to a refrigerator
Ian put a fridge in his cave a few years ago and bid me help myself, but except for a luxury or two and my bulk yeast I never used it much before this year. This is my tenth summer … Continue reading
Things that make me embarrassed…
And yet I’m blogging about it… You know that time you accidentally spilled a 5-gallon jug of water in your car, transforming it into a sort of iron pond? (a steaming iron pond, given the temperature.) And when you’d found … Continue reading
Although it’s been said many times, many ways…
I just somehow feel compelled to add my small voice to the chorus. Bear with me a moment if you would. When this guy right here… …takes it into his precious head to tell the world that he’s ‘totally down’ … Continue reading
Worst Assassin ever.
Authorities: Man at Las Vegas rally said he wanted to kill Trump My brother sent me this link with the note, If anyone ever decides to assassinate me, I hope that person is as incompetent as Michael Steven Sandford. After … Continue reading
Well, it is America’s game…
Also, Vin Scully is older than Abner Doubleday and can say whatever the hell he wants on the air.









































