It’s too late to worry now! Ten years ago today I told you that in ten years Mother Earth would pass the point of no return, if you didn’t buy enough carbon credits from me and stop making all those evil greenhouse gases! You deniers, you haters, you wouldn’t listen, would you? No! Inconvenient Al, you called me. Ha! And now you’re all doooooomed. We’re past the point of no return, for sure! Yes! You go ahead and bake, haters, I’m on my way to the highly-refrigerated safe space all my millions bought me…um…as soon as I get my car out of this snow drift…
Well…see? See? The world is ending, just like I said! Yup, all that greenhouse gas has brought about a massive ice age! Exactly what I predicted! Told you so!
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Scary Manifesto that keeps getting pushed down on the sidebar by filthy capitalism!
They say that Louis XIV had the inscription Ultima Ratio Regum cast into all the cannon of the French Army. It means “The Ultimate Argument of Kings,” and that always struck me as one of the most honest and up-front things any ruler or would-be ruler ever said. “We can dress it up prettier than this, but when it comes down to the unvarnished truth this is what it’s about: You’ll do as I say or I’ll send my goons to kill you.”
I thought about that for a long time. If there’s an ultimate argument, it seems only logical that there must be an ultimate answer. For years I thought the ultimate answer must be the bullets in my rifle, but it never seemed quite right. I’ve got bullets – he’s got frigging Cannon Balls. I mean, if there were three hundred million rifles throwing bullets at him, then maybe. But we all know that’s not going to happen. So if there’s an ultimate answer to his ultimate argument, it sure as hell ain’t bullets.
It finally came to me – and that’s when I abandoned the city and most of my stuff, and gave all that was behind me a good stiff Randian Shrug.
The ultimate answer to kings is not a bullet, but a belly laugh.
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With less than a day to go, I just want to bid everybody a happy farewell. I hope you all have your bucket lists up to date, because time is surely running short.
Um . . . is that Eastern Time, or “Your Time”? It’s 1:48PM here.
Doesn’t matter, Kentucky. Doomed. Sorry.
Oh darn! I haven’t been paying attention and I just planted some garden seeds in starter pots in the kitchen windows. Well, at least it was an enjoyable way to spend our last few minutes.