I love living here. I really do, and never spent a moment of any day wishing I lived somewhere else. There are things I don’t love about it, of course. The wind, for instance. Much of the weather, in fact. The homemade infrastructure. The rodents. The dirt. The sunburns. The poverty.
All that stuff is just the price of entry, and mostly I don’t give it a thought. I’m living the dream, Myrtle, and the dream works. If, you know, you dream of being a penniless desert hermit.
But there’s one thing about living here I can just barely stand. The cattle. And the local laws regarding the cattle.
Look – if I blundered stupidly into one of your buildings, knocked over a whole bunch of your stuff, then took a big wet copious shit on your threshold just to be a dick, you probably wouldn’t want to hear about some law that says you’re required to put up with me, and that I have more rights to protection than you or your property do. Right? In what universe – outside a John Wayne movie – does any of that make the slightest iota of sense?
I’m just asking.
“I didn’t do it. Really.”
If you hung up a chain hoist or somesuch from a beam of the desecrated building, would it support the weight of an average mobile steak on the hoof? Brisk wind and copious sunshine would make jerky just fine, I expect.
That’s called “badthink,” Robert.
“Twas nuthin’ more than innocent musing. Honest. Really. I’ll bring the A-1 and beer.
Between Ian’s and Landlady’s freezers and Robert’s suggestion of jerky, you all could probably keep one a year without anyone ever even noticing. Boy howdy, the coyotes must have gotten it. Darn shame. 😉
When life serves you lemons, make lemonade. When life gives you cow patties, grow a garden… heh.
Otherwise, SSS and quit advertising.
Here is a video to get your started: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F-fWvTcph9U
Oh Joel these things you speak of are merely challenges to a wizened sage such as yourself. I’m sure that if you were to gather up the cow patties in a bag take them to where they originated and set that bag on fire… No that would not work. My bad, my bad think… Or maybe acquire a laser from and old CD player that could be used to… no my bad again. I will go now before I write something like using shotgun bear bangers to scare the crap out of the cows and teach them not to wander around your place.
Kidding aside, if you do live in a No-Fence District, liability for property damage by stray livestock falls on the livestock owner so you could make a claim for any repairs and the time it took to clean thing up. Don’t know how well it would work but…
http://extension.arizona.edu/sites/extension.arizona.edu/files/pubs/az1533.pdf
Yeah, that Marksbury outfit is quite well-known and very respected.
And man, does that fella have sharp knives.
When cattle disappear in AZ, they are looked for harder than when a senior citizen wanders away from the hospice.
Into every life a little rain must fall. Here in the Blue Ridge it’s not cattle, it’s bears and wild hogs.
Just watch out for the ones without a brand….free and legal pickings
Along the lines of the fence laws:
I think the thing entering a building makes it fair game.
Just a thought.
A tasty….tasty thought.