Has this ever happened to you, Mr. and Mrs. America?
That’s right, Mr. and Mrs. Backyard Chicken farmer! It’s not the chicken’s fault! You’ve been doing it wrong all along! Our years of research and study have conclusively proven that Chickens Are Not Household Pets!
I know, it’s difficult to believe. These people found it to be so, as well. But once they had attended the patented TUAK three-day Chicken Deprogramming Classtm available at limited locations for a short time only for the low low introductory price of $50,000/day offer void wherever common sense is sold see package insert for details, they were able to correct all their misconceptions about the proper human/chicken relationship and resume happy, healthy, relatively normal lives.