Alas, this isn’t going to go eight days, or anything like eight days. For my sins I spent most of the afternoon fearful of moving too far from a toilet.
My undoing was one of the tub’s principal entrées, Creamy Chicken Rice.
Curiously, this package was also marked “8 portions,” which means the lunch and dinner entrées are consistently twice as big as the breakfasts. Sounds racist.
Let it be said that Augason Farms Creamy Chicken Rice is damned near terrible. Also, “creamy rice” is not a good emergency food for a number of practical reasons. First: When you cook creamy soup you leave the pot open and stir frequently. When you cook rice, you cover the pot and let it simmer for upwards of half an hour. When you cook creamy rice, you leave the pot open and stir constantly for upwards of half an hour while occasionally adding water to keep the whole thing from setting up like plaster. Bad enough on a beautiful stress-free Sunday afternoon. You want to try it during a hurricane or a sharknado or the end of the world as we know it or whatever drove you to pull the seal off the tub?
Second, any Mountain House mix I ever effortlessly rehydrated tastes better than this shit.
Third, as mentioned above, toilet. Lots of toilet. The creamy potato soup had me a bit rumbly yesterday but didn’t set me off. The creamy rice did the trick.
And I’m still not in any mood for supper, which would have been mac and cheese.
We’ll do the mac and cheese tomorrow. But then I think we’ll be drawing our eight-day trial to a close in two and a half days, with a round-up post.