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They say that Louis XIV had the inscription Ultima Ratio Regum cast into all the cannon of the French Army. It means “The Ultimate Argument of Kings,” and that always struck me as one of the most honest and up-front things any ruler or would-be ruler ever said. “We can dress it up prettier than this, but when it comes down to the unvarnished truth this is what it’s about: You’ll do as I say or I’ll send my goons to kill you.”
I thought about that for a long time. If there’s an ultimate argument, it seems only logical that there must be an ultimate answer. For years I thought the ultimate answer must be the bullets in my rifle, but it never seemed quite right. I’ve got bullets – he’s got frigging Cannon Balls. I mean, if there were three hundred million rifles throwing bullets at him, then maybe. But we all know that’s not going to happen. So if there’s an ultimate answer to his ultimate argument, it sure as hell ain’t bullets.
It finally came to me – and that’s when I abandoned the city and most of my stuff, and gave all that was behind me a good stiff Randian Shrug.
The ultimate answer to kings is not a bullet, but a belly laugh.
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Category Archives: Uncategorized
Finally got my water back.
I finally got a few consecutive hours of sunlight yesterday, and when I checked the tank it was clearly filling. Which eased my greatest fear – that the well pump would fail during its extended downtime – but didn’t answer … Continue reading
Plumbing Repairs – Good news/Bad news
April is a problematic month for the comfort of an old guy doing strenuous chores outdoors. It might work out great. It might do the other thing. Lately it’s been cold and windy and I was beginning to think I … Continue reading
Yah, he’s good.
🙂 Tobie had kind of a rough evening. He normally checks out after the evening walkie and I don’t hear much from him till morning but he just couldn’t get comfortable. His bed wasn’t right and he was crashing all … Continue reading
“Aw, c’mon. Really? [bad word]”
It’s supposed to top off in the forties today, with the same gale wind as yesterday. Murphy has made an unholy pact with the forces of weather.
Tobie got his new bed!
Thanks to Generous Reader MM. I picked it up on the way home from the big town about 50 miles away. Tobie is not completely sold, he’s only lying there because I told him to, but I don’t think it’s … Continue reading
Sometimes “oh god oh god” just doesn’t get it done…
I had to go to Wal-Mart today. For the first time in years. And it was loud. And there were too many people. And I got through it okay this time, really, didn’t actually hyperventilate at any point, but I … Continue reading
Lemme just drag myself to the keyboard here…
My back went out again yesterday. While bending over to toss a couple of sticks into the woodstove. Which I was doing because… …that’s the way yesterday started. Today, naturally, it’s a gorgeous day. Couldn’t be better! Started out mild, … Continue reading
April doesn’t want me to think I’m out of the woods…
Sigh. This, I think, is just because it got a little cold overnight. It rained all yesterday afternoon and at least some overnight, so snow first thing in the morning is not a surprise. It’s supposed to rain all day, … Continue reading
Digga we musta. Again.
Right. So back in late December we learned to our displeasure that the plumbers hired to install a whole bunch of water equipment at Ian’s Cave had taken it upon themselves to remove my shut-off valve from the tank at … Continue reading
Finally some decent weather…
Two whole days of it, if the forecast is correct. Yesterday I washed a big load of laundry and got it out on the line for some serious sunshine… …and then I finished off all the dirty stuff this morning, … Continue reading
Okay, look. Enough. Sick of it now.
Every morning for the past three. Never warms up past the mid-forties. It’s still coming down as I type this, so… I don’t know how much we got this morning, I’m going with something over an inch which makes this … Continue reading
Once again, weather and timing…
Cool and very windy today. Early snow, then all day it’s been sometimes sunny and sometimes threatening rain. But always with the wind. I’ve had to burn the woodstove 3 times, which meant I needed to clean out the ashes … Continue reading
D&L Generator Service: The weatherman let me down…
Today was supposed to be sunny and warmish until evening, when we’re due for another 3 days of sloppy weather. Neighbor L has been after me for the past two weeks to help service their generator but we kept having … Continue reading
The telephone rang…
The telephone hardly ever rings. When it does, chances are better than even that there’s an issue somewhere that somebody wants me to lend a hand with. Which means Uncle Joel is about to get off his ass and go … Continue reading
Big scary thunderstorm!
And Tobie did not like it, not one little bit. Showing every sign of stress short of pissing himself, he stayed close to make sure Uncle Joel was safe. And that was when the hail started pounding on the bedroom … Continue reading
Equinox! Again.
Only one person pointed out that Uncle Joel can’t read a calendar, causing the 2024 Spring Equinox to occur twice this year. I was testing you. This time I mean it. The space between the false and true equinoxes has … Continue reading
Okay, so Plan B was unacceptable…
It’s a little small for the purpose anyway, I guess. He would lie in it, under orders and under protest… …but he got right back up the minute I turned around. And when I gave up and put the old … Continue reading
You always hurt the ones you love…
And Tobie has always really loved his bed, a gift from Generous Reader MM. Alas – he has a habit of being kind of hard on the things he loves. Not as destructive as during his Hell Puppy phase, but … Continue reading
Another sloppy day…
According to the forecast the next sighting of the sun has been pushed back to Tuesday, which is not good news. Ian’s batteries are suffering and I’ve turned off his pressure pump and refrigerator. There’s something wrong there, probably in … Continue reading









































