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They say that Louis XIV had the inscription Ultima Ratio Regum cast into all the cannon of the French Army. It means “The Ultimate Argument of Kings,” and that always struck me as one of the most honest and up-front things any ruler or would-be ruler ever said. “We can dress it up prettier than this, but when it comes down to the unvarnished truth this is what it’s about: You’ll do as I say or I’ll send my goons to kill you.”
I thought about that for a long time. If there’s an ultimate argument, it seems only logical that there must be an ultimate answer. For years I thought the ultimate answer must be the bullets in my rifle, but it never seemed quite right. I’ve got bullets – he’s got frigging Cannon Balls. I mean, if there were three hundred million rifles throwing bullets at him, then maybe. But we all know that’s not going to happen. So if there’s an ultimate answer to his ultimate argument, it sure as hell ain’t bullets.
It finally came to me – and that’s when I abandoned the city and most of my stuff, and gave all that was behind me a good stiff Randian Shrug.
The ultimate answer to kings is not a bullet, but a belly laugh.
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Laddie the Amazing Torso Boy 2011-2020
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Category Archives: Uncategorized
Random Gulchy Moments…
My favorite cacti are blooming! I love the shade of these flowers but the plants are pure evil. The spikes are not only very sharp, they’re hooked as if they don’t want to stop causing you pain when you get … Continue reading
Sorry, been away from the keyboard…
Haven’t really been sleeping well the past several nights. Nothing wrong, it just comes and goes. Also I went to the big town about 50 miles away yesterday and that seems to have used up my supply of wanna-do for … Continue reading
Spring Flowers
Not actually much in the way of Spring flowers so far this May. I’ve lost hope for the yucca this year, and I’m not sure if the cactus are going to do anything. The cliff roses are coming along nicely, … Continue reading
The sort of toggle switch my own grandfather would have understood…
Okay, so I got my principal iPhone working. Yay, me. But all of a sudden the bluetooth earpiece I habitually wear wasn’t telling me when I had a new text. And that’s the main reason I wear the damned thing. … Continue reading
Me so techie…
Sometimes I get so annoyed I actually exert myself to fix a techie problem myself. Also, for like the first time since I started using Apple products, iTunes was of some value to me. It took half the afternoon, but … Continue reading
A gift in the mail!
Friend of the Blog Commander Zero sent me a gift! A tactical gift, of course… This is a really nice flashlight, (as far as I know) up to date with the latest fashion. Ol’ Boomer Joel has continual trouble wrapping … Continue reading
Desperate times call for desperate measures, even if you’re a dog.
Maybe especially if you are. I went to bed at the usual time. It was raining off and on and Tobie was unusually unsettled. Usually by my bedtime he’s long since checked out. I didn’t hear thunder at first, my … Continue reading
Learning to shoot all over again…
I have to stop and remember, while using the new Arex, just how obsolescent old school my pistols have been, and for how long they’ve been that way. I swapped my worn-out 1911 for a big-bore revolver 12-13 years ago. … Continue reading
Wow, telephone crisis narrowly avoided…
My whole online life revolves around my smartphone. Since sometime in 2017 I’ve been using a secondhand iPhone that was getting pretty worn out and I was getting worried. Then early last year Big Brother texted me out of the … Continue reading
How you know you’re working class…
I just read an article about Glenn Campbell on the anniversary of his birthday. And while I don’t actually give him much thought a linked video to Wichita Lineman made me chuckle to myself. The song was ubiquitous on the … Continue reading
Walkie snapshots…
Neighbor D had a health setback yesterday, which disrupted my plans to go to the biggish town about 35 miles away and shop for (groceries and) a holster for the Arex. Poor me, right? Having typed that first sentence I … Continue reading
Ian found the mouse nest.
Last summer there was this whole big story arc about a(t least one) nest of mice that I ended up killing one by one, starting with the adults and ending with the babies. But I never found the nest – … Continue reading
Old Uncle Joel creeps into the 21st Century…
At last night’s surprise party I received a few Joel-centric gag gifts that’ll probably never be used and one that’s already in use… …and a not-at-all gag gift from Ian, who came all the way up here to surprise me… … Continue reading
I’ve been ambushed!
Well, I can no longer say I’ve never had a birthday party. Total surprise. Details later.
Bread recipe, desert hermit style
Every now and then somebody asks for my bread recipe, and it has been a long time since I talked about that. So here’s the current version. Keep in mind that bread in the developmental stage is very sensitive to … Continue reading
I want my own acronym.
Seriously, I was thinking about it this morning. Tobie and I were out early… …and on the way home we saw our closest neighbor coming home in his new pickup, towing his flatbed trailer. It was a few minutes past … Continue reading
So somebody got on my bad side last night…
I have so many flashlights I don’t know what to do. I have a really nice rechargeable I carried for years until quite recently, when I pruned down the stuff I keep on my belt. I have a sort-of-slightly-bigger-than-a-penlight that … Continue reading
Ironically I picked the coldest windiest day in two weeks…
…to put the woodstove to bed for the season. It’s just been too nice outside for anything but play – till today when I’m relatively stuck indoors and so it was time for a good cobweb hunting and floor vacuuming. … Continue reading
Busy Day…
The return of pleasant weather has gotten me off my ass and out the door a bit more in the past couple of days, and loving it. Yesterday was a prime example… Start early – indeed, as soon as the … Continue reading









































