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They say that Louis XIV had the inscription Ultima Ratio Regum cast into all the cannon of the French Army. It means “The Ultimate Argument of Kings,” and that always struck me as one of the most honest and up-front things any ruler or would-be ruler ever said. “We can dress it up prettier than this, but when it comes down to the unvarnished truth this is what it’s about: You’ll do as I say or I’ll send my goons to kill you.”
I thought about that for a long time. If there’s an ultimate argument, it seems only logical that there must be an ultimate answer. For years I thought the ultimate answer must be the bullets in my rifle, but it never seemed quite right. I’ve got bullets – he’s got frigging Cannon Balls. I mean, if there were three hundred million rifles throwing bullets at him, then maybe. But we all know that’s not going to happen. So if there’s an ultimate answer to his ultimate argument, it sure as hell ain’t bullets.
It finally came to me – and that’s when I abandoned the city and most of my stuff, and gave all that was behind me a good stiff Randian Shrug.
The ultimate answer to kings is not a bullet, but a belly laugh.
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Category Archives: Uncategorized
Commander Zero sends Joel a happy Paratus Day…
I always say I’m going to remember this next year, and every year I forget. In my defense I also forget about Christmas, so what can I say. I’m a hermit. But Commander Zero – being the person who invented … Continue reading
Seven words you must not say to Tobie unless you mean them, and right frickin’ now…
‘Go for a ride in the Jeep.’ I missed the picture where he was pawing at the door, which he never otherwise does. He’ll forgive me for teasing about walkies – nothing special about walkies. But if I say those … Continue reading
Good timing, Joel! Have a cookie.
Baking day! And while waiting for the bread dough to finish its first rise I went outside and serviced the generator in preparation for wood cutting which will get under way as soon as I get a round tuit. But … Continue reading
The Lair and its Immediate Neighborhood
Not long ago a commenter said that (paraphrased, since I’m too lazy to go look for the actual comment) there are Youtubers who post videos about this cool remote retreat they’re building while carefully avoiding the angle that shows the … Continue reading
I am the Boomer, goo goo ga joob…
Ever look at a pop-up ad and wonder “what the hell are they trying to sell me?” You might be a boomer. With the exception of the wireless earphones which are helpfully labeled, I don’t recognize a single item on … Continue reading
It’s the little irritations…
DIY infrastructure comes with irritants large and small. Sometimes it’s the things that go only a little wrong that can get your day off to a bad start. Example… That is the outlet to the Lair’s sink drain. It empties … Continue reading
Monsoon’s last gasp, maybe…
Boy, after an almost completely dry week it clouded up and rained like a sonuvagun briefly this afternoon. Started with hail. Filled the gullies real quick, so no surprise that the wash ran a little. About 20 minutes after it … Continue reading
Dammit, Joel! Never put Uncle Murphy to the test!
I’ll never learn. So back in February something got stuck in the Jeep’s transmission valve body. Drive was Drive and so was Neutral, Reverse was Neutral and Park was some moving gear, possibly reverse, locked by the parking pawl. I … Continue reading
Against the coyote insurgency: Chemical deterrents
When I first contemplated moving to the boonies for realsies in the mid-oughts there were all manner of weird things I could mentally picture myself doing for fun and profit. Some that I really did end up doing never crossed … Continue reading
There’s some lovely filth down here…
Oy, the things people with horses get up to… I like horses, normally, but a horse that gets in the habit of pissing where it lives is the foulest creature I’ve ever encountered. Gallons of the stuff, all deposited in … Continue reading
This stuff…
…would break my budget if it weren’t for Big Brother. I have always been open to the possibility that, however blessed I’ve been since moving to the Gulch, I am cursed in one respect: I seem doomed never to have … Continue reading
More wee-hour alarums…
This time it was 3am. Tobie went on a veritable rampage, charging from window to window snarling horribly. Never heard him snarl before except during play. He wasn’t playing early this morning – in fact he was so serious I … Continue reading
“Dammit, Tobie! Go lay down!”
Tobie takes perimeter defense very seriously, especially in the middle of the night, and seems genuinely perplexed as to how I can just sleep through all those critters that creep so brazenly around outside his open window. Being stuck inside … Continue reading
Household Batteries – Monthly Service
More and more, offgrid battery tech is moving toward batteries that don’t require topping off the electrolyte levels. Some day maybe lithium battery prices will come down to where penniless desert hermits can afford them – preferably without depopulating Africa … Continue reading
An awkward trip to town…
Momentarily flush, I ordered some replacement supplies from Amazon. Normally I would wait to pick up the box until the regular weekly water run but it’s a pretty morning and I wanted a bike ride. This, I knew before I … Continue reading
On pellet stoves in the boonies…
My neighbors D&L have a very large house, post & beam with strawbale & adobe exterior and earthbag interior walls. I do believe it’s got more thermal mass than Ian’s Cave, which is great in the summer but a surprising … Continue reading
Um…Uncle Joel…
…are you ever planning to get out of bed? Food bowl’s empty and bladder’s full over here…
Later generations will mark this as the moment…
…DJT decided to give up on the politics crap and just openly become a supervillain instead. I mean, if that face isn’t plotting an intricate and horrible revenge right that very moment against all those who have wronged him, I’ve … Continue reading
I’m beginning to doubt my own weather management skills…
It has drizzled rain for days now: No accumulation worth measuring but it’s like living inside a mister. I expect ferns. Just to get outside the cabin for something other than bare necessities I started out on a just for … Continue reading









































