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They say that Louis XIV had the inscription Ultima Ratio Regum cast into all the cannon of the French Army. It means “The Ultimate Argument of Kings,” and that always struck me as one of the most honest and up-front things any ruler or would-be ruler ever said. “We can dress it up prettier than this, but when it comes down to the unvarnished truth this is what it’s about: You’ll do as I say or I’ll send my goons to kill you.”
I thought about that for a long time. If there’s an ultimate argument, it seems only logical that there must be an ultimate answer. For years I thought the ultimate answer must be the bullets in my rifle, but it never seemed quite right. I’ve got bullets – he’s got frigging Cannon Balls. I mean, if there were three hundred million rifles throwing bullets at him, then maybe. But we all know that’s not going to happen. So if there’s an ultimate answer to his ultimate argument, it sure as hell ain’t bullets.
It finally came to me – and that’s when I abandoned the city and most of my stuff, and gave all that was behind me a good stiff Randian Shrug.
The ultimate answer to kings is not a bullet, but a belly laugh.
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Category Archives: Uncategorized
Muh Pupper…
Post morning walkie. Tobie likes his bed, the more so since we retired the main room’s reading chair almost two years ago and moved the bed next to the desk where I’m most likely to be if I’m sitting. Which, … Continue reading
Threshold of Maximum Acceptable Floppiness…
I came up with a new personal engineering term this morning during morning walkie! I’m so proud. I’ve been carrying a medium-frame .44 revolver every day for something over 12 years now, with the exception of about six months starting … Continue reading
There goes the earth berm…
Under the bridge to the woodshed that crosses the drainage ditch for the gulley behind the Lair, I lay down a couple of drainpipes and then cover them with a berm of dirt recovered from the many times I’ve had … Continue reading
The return of Monsoon
Oh, we’re finally getting “that” thunderstorm, even as I type this. Sheeting rain, super close lightning and blasting thunder. The gullies are rising all around the Lair: over half an inch measured in less than half an hour. Tobie is … Continue reading
You ever wake up with a foul taste in your mouth…
I often wake up with odd old songs in my head. Lately they can be so old I don’t even remember the lyrics – just the tune, the tag line, and a vague memory that there were lyrics. In these … Continue reading
…and that’s why I wear an earpiece…
Monday! And the water run has been moved to Friday, which means I blissfully have no social obligations whatsoever. After morning chores and walkie I bag up some ammo, put in my earplugs and go for a sort of walking … Continue reading
Return of the camo quilt…
It got positively chilly yesterday. I got home from the water run, changed out of my new pants and gun burka, put on my usual summer ain’t-goin’-nowhere shorts and sleeveless shirt, and pretty much immediately recognized my mistake. It rained … Continue reading
Must’ve rained more to the east than it did here…
…because we didn’t get enough rain last night to make the wash run. This is an extremely moderate run, nowhere near even bank-to-bank much less raging torrents that cut new channels through juniper thickets that have been there for centuries … Continue reading
Tobie wishes it to be known for the record…
…that his opinion of my management of the weather is lowering by the day, since Monsoon finally decided to do something. We just had a mighty flash followed by a most disagreeable kaboom, and he sees very little reason to … Continue reading
Found the fourth baby mouse…
Went into Ian’s Cave this morning to check traps. No kills, but there seemed to be a large quantity of miniature mouse shit in the kitchen sink. “How did you get there?” I asked the air, and then looked more … Continue reading
Oh, we had a big’un this evening.
The gullies ran copiously as the rain crashed down and the thunder rumbled all around. Tobie protected me most closely… “Not to worry, Uncle Joel,” he said, over and over, “As long as you stay close. If we’re separated I … Continue reading
New holster
My old leather holster is too worn out to be tolerable. Even if there were someone around to do the work I could never afford the custom holster a red dot-equipped L-frame kind of needs and I’m really not prepared … Continue reading
Rain!
Wow, it finally decided to rain. It rained from before noon till after 3, sometimes in real drenching cloudbursts. According to my rain gauge we got over an inch in two hours. Which of course means… …the wash ran – … Continue reading
Spontaneous remission of symptoms, and Uncle Joel slaughters innocent children
What’s wrong with this picture? Answer: Absolutely nothing, for the first time since sometime in February. The Jeep is backed into its proper parking place. Last winter something very bad happened in the valve body of the Jeep’s newly-rebuilt transmission. … Continue reading
Getting rid of garbage…
…is kind of a problem if you live by yourself in the boonies, are vehicle-impaired, and don’t want to just dig a series of holes and bury things that won’t rot in the desert surrounding your place. After seventeen years … Continue reading
Just hanging out…
A beautiful cloudless morning for once… The cloudless part probably won’t last but we’re not scheduled for any rain today. Even on days when rain is scheduled we haven’t been getting much. Early August, and so far Monsoon has been … Continue reading
An unusual ride to town…
The Monday morning water run has been moved to Thursday or Friday, details still being worked out, which left me rather at loose ends this morning after morning walkie and chores. I badly needed a hardware infusion, plus Big Brother … Continue reading
Death to Vermin, and also Tobie gets a twofer…
These things… There is a species of big black ant around here – they will suddenly form a big new nest seemingly overnight with seemingly squillions of – well, big black ants which will delight in giving their lives to … Continue reading
So that’s how to get Tobie to put it in gear…
Tobie and I have entirely different approaches to the concept of “walkie.” I’m generally going from one place to another at a determined pace, and regard diversions from the mission with glowering disapproval. Tobie, a big strong young dog, wants … Continue reading
When plumbing jobs go horribly wrong…
When you find multiple horrid arthropods cavorting about the drain of a sink that’s done very little besides collect goo since it was installed several years ago, it’s best to assume that what you can see is not the whole … Continue reading









































