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They say that Louis XIV had the inscription Ultima Ratio Regum cast into all the cannon of the French Army. It means “The Ultimate Argument of Kings,” and that always struck me as one of the most honest and up-front things any ruler or would-be ruler ever said. “We can dress it up prettier than this, but when it comes down to the unvarnished truth this is what it’s about: You’ll do as I say or I’ll send my goons to kill you.”
I thought about that for a long time. If there’s an ultimate argument, it seems only logical that there must be an ultimate answer. For years I thought the ultimate answer must be the bullets in my rifle, but it never seemed quite right. I’ve got bullets – he’s got frigging Cannon Balls. I mean, if there were three hundred million rifles throwing bullets at him, then maybe. But we all know that’s not going to happen. So if there’s an ultimate answer to his ultimate argument, it sure as hell ain’t bullets.
It finally came to me – and that’s when I abandoned the city and most of my stuff, and gave all that was behind me a good stiff Randian Shrug.
The ultimate answer to kings is not a bullet, but a belly laugh.
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Category Archives: Uncategorized
Sometimes just a quick change of bait does it…
…and buys an obnoxious mouse a broken neck and a quick flight off the cliff in front of Ian’s Cave. She avoided her well-deserved fate for a couple of days – but fell prey to the allures of peanut butter. … Continue reading
Random Gulchy Moments
One reason I can’t get along very well without a functioning 4X4 is chickens. At present there isn’t any water source on what used to be Landlady’s ridge, which is where the chicken house is. Part of my duty toward … Continue reading
Poor Tobie
I’m washing dishes with the daily storm building-and rumbling- outside my window. Looked over at Tobie’s bed and found it empty. Looked back toward the bedroom… When the storm actually breaks he’ll be in the closet, as far from dangerous … Continue reading
I need professional help.
No, not that kind. It’s been tried, I’m far past hope. But both modes of my transport have taken it into their collective head to fail simultaneously. Granted one has been coming on for a long time and one had … Continue reading
Not okay, dammit. Not okay.
I can barely get out of a chair this morning for my aching knees, and this dumb thing is giving me “ok” smiley faces… Tired of Monsoon now. Though I have to admit the relative cool is nice.
George Orwell, call your office…
I heard on the Jeep radio yesterday that the US government was not declaring the national economy to be in recession, despite two consecutive quarters of negative growth, for reasons apparently related to their redefinition of the term “recession.” This … Continue reading
“So…we’re not stranded, then.”
Went to town with D&L this morning. And I’m not telling this story to make fun of anyone, other than maybe myself. Just saying: Getting old ain’t for sissies. And part of my ordeal is that I’m about half deaf. … Continue reading
Goodies for hermit and dog…
Generous Reader Terrapod sent me coffee that’ll last me well into 2023, at the current rate of consumption… …and Big Brother sent a little something for Tobie… Best-fed living dog in the Gulch, that one…
You had more than fair warning, dude…
There’s been a big rat leaving piles of – well, leavings – on my porch every night for over a week. I don’t know why. I do know it grew tiresome. The nice thing about rats? When they annoy you, … Continue reading
Getting intrusive with bikes and dogs…
The last time I had trouble with one of the ebike’s tires, Big Brother sent me a bottle of this puncture-plugging slime you’re supposed to pump into the tubes. I didn’t use it, because I’ve seen balance trouble with car … Continue reading
The spider did it.
Just another day. I unlocked Ian’s place coming back from Tobie’s afternoon walkie, took the leash off, grabbed a beer from the fridge and took a slug while making my way to the dark musty bowels of the cave. Time … Continue reading
That feels weird. Sad and weird.
The yellow Jeep, my more-or-less faithful steed since 2008, never belonged to me. It always belonged to Landlady*, and at first it was a reciprocal matter of me keeping it running for her occasional use in return for me using … Continue reading
Mothers, tell your children…
…not to do what I have done. I snuck off and spent a quiet hour alone in the reloading shack this morning… Really just stocking up on practice ammo since the gun I need to be practicing with is still … Continue reading
My memes folder is filling up…
…and I still don’t have anything worth blogging about. So here are funny pictures.
My ebike has never yet stranded me away from home…
It has, however, just barely gotten me home on quite a number of occasions. In this particular case, a quick trip to town from the county road went without incident. But when I took the bike off its rack to … Continue reading
“Good boy, Tobie!”
Tobie and I went off road for a bit during our morning walkie. As we returned to a different stretch of dirt road, Tobie leading the way, he shied sharply to the left as soon as he broke cover. Following … Continue reading
Me so deprived
Yeah, I’m spoiled. Pound for pound the consistently very best coffee I ever had in my life has come from Trader Joe’s, and Landlady enabled my entitled coffee fetish for parts of three decades. Alas, all things change: Landlady’s life … Continue reading
Learning from your mistakes…
Oh, boy, have the past [many] years given me lots of experience in paying attention to the lessons of old mistakes and never more so than in the past nearly sixteen years, when I’ve had so many new things to … Continue reading
TUAK goes all corporate image and shit…
There’s no practical reason I didn’t do this a year ago. For the past six months I’ve regularly had enough in the bank account that dropping an unscheduled $50 wouldn’t have been a big deal at all. But… Fact is, … Continue reading









































