And Tobie wants to know when I’m planning to get off my ass and take him on his long morning walkie.


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They say that Louis XIV had the inscription Ultima Ratio Regum cast into all the cannon of the French Army. It means “The Ultimate Argument of Kings,” and that always struck me as one of the most honest and up-front things any ruler or would-be ruler ever said. “We can dress it up prettier than this, but when it comes down to the unvarnished truth this is what it’s about: You’ll do as I say or I’ll send my goons to kill you.”
I thought about that for a long time. If there’s an ultimate argument, it seems only logical that there must be an ultimate answer. For years I thought the ultimate answer must be the bullets in my rifle, but it never seemed quite right. I’ve got bullets – he’s got frigging Cannon Balls. I mean, if there were three hundred million rifles throwing bullets at him, then maybe. But we all know that’s not going to happen. So if there’s an ultimate answer to his ultimate argument, it sure as hell ain’t bullets.
It finally came to me – and that’s when I abandoned the city and most of my stuff, and gave all that was behind me a good stiff Randian Shrug.
The ultimate answer to kings is not a bullet, but a belly laugh.
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Laddie the Amazing Torso Boy 2011-2020
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Tobie sure is one lucky dog to be with someone like you. It’s been nice looking back at the photos since Tobie came to be with you Joel. No matter how filled out he gets, I think that deep down he will always be a puppy.
I hope you manage to have as merry a Christmas as you can. 🎅 ⛄
Merry Christmas to you and Tobie! And a Merry Christmas to all who will read this!
Well? Are we walking yet? Oh yeah, Merry Christmas!
I’m not sure that I could ever say no to that face. Merry Christmas Joel and Tobie.
Merry Christmas to the two of you
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to one and all!
Something about the look they give you and then looking at the leash. And then the little bark. Ya, when they gotta go they need our thumbs.