Foreign Dispatch #5: Insufficiently Weird

The city currently under study is said to be an island of correct-thinking progressives in a sea of toothless rednecks, but we have an idea that the participants’ hearts aren’t really in it.

It does contain a university district, and yesterday we dispatched our intrepid correspondent on a perilous undercover expedition into its beating heart: A Community-Supported Agriculture Exchange. If his tie-dye t-shirt and faded bellbottoms didn’t disguise him to a sufficient degree we feared we might lose him, torn limb from limb by enraged, arugula-munching mobs.

But really, it was like they weren’t even trying…


Frankly – and of course meaning no offense to the locals – our generation did ‘obnoxious hippie’ far better than this. Most of the participants looked more likely to break their hips tripping on the threshold of the local Social Security office than to get brained by an enraged cop at an anti-draft protest.

And it shows…


About Joel

You shouldn't ask these questions of a paranoid recluse, you know.
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7 Responses to Foreign Dispatch #5: Insufficiently Weird

  1. MamaLiberty says:

    And the crowd went wild! Oh, wait… seven people aren’t a crowd. Unless you are in a phone booth, of course. LOL Are there any such thing as phone booths now? I remember when a bunch of my high school contemporaries decided to see how many people they could push into a small car… can’t remember what make it was now. Simply hilarious.

  2. Ben says:

    Well yes, but what about the veggies?

  3. Joel says:

    Well yes, but what about the veggies?

    I’m sure these are very fine veggies. But seriously, you can buy onions in a store. Even I can do that.

  4. coloradohermit says:

    Yup, hippies just aren’t as fun as we used to be. At least the pics are lovely and warm while I sit here with 6″ of snow and 5* temp. But I do have a bunch of marble sized tomatoes on the plant in the kitchen window and one tiny bell pepper growing beside the tomato plant. I don’t think that qualifies me for attending an Agriculture Exchange.

  5. Mark Matis says:

    Did you stop to think that, with the Muslim in Chief still in office, the “backdoor” they want the hippies to use might be the same one he requests his Reggie “Love” to use? After all, that IS the current Cause du Jour for the Holier Than Thou crowd today…

  6. Zelda says:

    Joel aren’t you having way too much fun???

  7. I think you stood a better chance of meeting an obnoxious hippie in the grocery store you were in yesterday.

    Watch yer’ topknot down there!

To the stake with the heretic!