I give you CForce: It’s Chuck Norris’ water – it empowers you.
No, seriously. We found a bottle of this during a fuel stop on the way to the city.
I was in the very process of throwing the bottle away this morning when I thought, ‘wait, this deserves a moment.’ And yes, there’s actually a web site.
CForce Water comes from a sustainable aquifer deep under Chuck’s Lone Wolf Ranch in Navasota, TX.
Though I wasn’t the person drinking this water I do care about the welfare of the person who was, and so was relieved to learn that this is tap water from Norris’ ranch and not, you know, his … water.
But still. Should I be happy I’m not afflicted with a b-list movie star’s ego and hubris? Or upset that I can’t make a zillion bux just bottling filtered Gulch water and calling it … oh, I’d have to work on a proper name…
A proper name… Hmmm…
Kidney Cement (owing to its hardness)
J Drips
Hermit Squirt
Open Range
Desert Dew
… I could keep this up all day.
I’m … going to go take a long bath now…
Hermit Squirt. It can be interpreted and enjoyed in many ways, depending upon the age and worldliness of the person reading the label. Oh guffaw.
Booty Sweat! Oh, wait, that’s taken…
Well, you’ve already named it. “Gulch Water” isn’t a bad concept, even if it hasn’t got any particular innuendo.
At the right time of year, I suppose “Jeep Lube” might work.
My mom buys that C-Force water at the local chain supermarket, and gave me a couple bottles after I escaped my cancer treatment last summer. Supposedly, alkaline water is to cancer like holy water to vampires…I have no idea if it works, but the bottles are sturdy and a handy size for reusing, and when Mom sees them, she’s less likely to bug me about needing more.