The Adaptive Curmudgeon buys (or actually attempts to buy, so far) a cord of wood.
I stack’em in order, so you don’t have to. Which is more than Mudge is gonna end up with, I do predict.
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They say that Louis XIV had the inscription Ultima Ratio Regum cast into all the cannon of the French Army. It means “The Ultimate Argument of Kings,” and that always struck me as one of the most honest and up-front things any ruler or would-be ruler ever said. “We can dress it up prettier than this, but when it comes down to the unvarnished truth this is what it’s about: You’ll do as I say or I’ll send my goons to kill you.”
I thought about that for a long time. If there’s an ultimate argument, it seems only logical that there must be an ultimate answer. For years I thought the ultimate answer must be the bullets in my rifle, but it never seemed quite right. I’ve got bullets – he’s got frigging Cannon Balls. I mean, if there were three hundred million rifles throwing bullets at him, then maybe. But we all know that’s not going to happen. So if there’s an ultimate answer to his ultimate argument, it sure as hell ain’t bullets.
It finally came to me – and that’s when I abandoned the city and most of my stuff, and gave all that was behind me a good stiff Randian Shrug.
The ultimate answer to kings is not a bullet, but a belly laugh.
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He, and you are visited multiple times a day. I just don’t want to miss out. I agree with your assessment BTW. Always leaves us hanging awhile though.
OMG! What a hoot. I laughed so hard I think I puddled the floor.
My last experience buying wood was 15+ years ago. It was amazingly similar to ‘Mudge’s. Multiple phone calls, dead ends, then repeated calls to a guy who actually had wood. For sale. Dry.
Only his truck was broke. Long story short, I only wanted 1/2 cord, and it showed up about 10 days later, at night, in a 76 Pontiac wagon, springs smashed completely flat, radiator boiling over, with wood stacked to the ceiling and piled high on the roof of the car, We spent as long cooling his engine down as we did unloading the wood.
Can’t wait to hear the thrilling conclusion of ‘Mudge’s version of this seemingly universal story.
I’ll be dipped. He got the wood. Quite a saga, and a bit of a tussle, but he got a cord of split, dry oak for $100.
There’s some profound lesson in free-market economics here, but I can’t tell what it is. Lot’s of people want cords of firewood. Lots of people sell firewood. But no one can just buy a quality cord. When someone finally gets an honest cord, it is an ordeal and a fight and the price is half what a willing buyer would pay. It don’t make no sense!