If I were organized religion…

…I would disband myself before allowing this to be done in my name. Organized religion has already had a great many evil things done in its name, but surely this is an atrocity too far…

Hillary Wants to Preach

Yup. I dunno – maybe she figures she can’t sell political influence for truckloads of money anymore, so she should switch to selling god?

Hillary Clinton wants to preach. That’s what she told Bill Shillady, her longtime pastor, at a recent photo shoot for his new book about the daily devotionals he sent her during the 2016 campaign. Scattered bits of reporting suggest that ministry has always been a secret dream of the two-time presidential candidate: Last fall, the former Newsweek editor Kenneth Woodward revealed that Clinton told him in 1994 that she thought “all the time” about becoming an ordained Methodist minister. She asked him not to write about it, though: “It will make me seem much too pious.”

Approach that link with caution, BTW, lest you pressure-test your gag reflex. The article is entirely unironic and reads like a campaign plant – it’s basically plugging yet another Hillary book, this one written by some preacher who is now claimed to be her long-time spiritual counselor. I didn’t know the Church of Satan used those.

Speaking of unpalatable swill hawked by untrustworthy TV preachers, here’s a two-year-old but still relevant fun fact about some expensive “survival food…”

Apocalypse Chow: We Tried Televangelist Jim Bakker’s ‘Survival Food’

If it’s the future, and the end of the world is nigh, it’s probably safe to assume that things are looking grim. If all you have to eat is the survivalist food you bought from televangelist Jim Bakker in 2015, then your situation may be considerably worse.

About Joel

You shouldn't ask these questions of a paranoid recluse, you know.
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14 Responses to If I were organized religion…

  1. Ken Hagler says:

    “I didn’t know the Church of Satan used those.”

    Wow, that’s harsh. What did Satan ever do to deserve being associated with Hillary?

  2. Joel says:

    Yeah, maybe I should have gone with the Cult of Cthulu. He boasts that there’s no greater evil, though it’s yet to be proven.

  3. jabrwok says:

    Hillary: You said I’d win!
    Satan: You said you had a soul.

  4. Wrasse says:

    Hm. Organized religion. Like the excesses of the duh duh DUH… SPANISH INQUISITION (anti-religion trump card warning!!!) Which were co demned by the pope yet still carried out by Ferdie and Izzie for political reasons, which led to a mind-blowing FIVE (count ’em, FIVE!) THOUSAND deaths. Take that, atheistic communists!!

  5. Wrasse says:

    Damn Judeo-Christian krganized religions, what with their having people who don’t practice their tenets that human beings have dignity, created as they are in the image and likeness of God. Damn hypocrites. I decided not to follow truth because some people pretend to seek it but don’t.

  6. Wrasse says:

    Anyone here ever actually read what Jesus said? It’s crazy! If people did what he said, we’d all be killing each other. Wars would be fought. People would be tortured. Forced conversions! Burning at the stake! Roving religious death squads! Lions lying down with lambs . . . mass hysteria!

  7. Joel says:

    😀 Sorry to have pushed your button, there, Wrasse. Nothing personal.

  8. Ben says:

    If there are people dumb enough to continue to listen to a worm like Jim Bakker after everything that he has done, then somewhere there must be a suitable audience for a Rev. Hillary.

    Besides Joel, where would you rather have her? Misleading a congregation somewhere, or back into politics?

  9. Kentucky says:

    ” . . . somewhere there must be a suitable audience for a Rev. Hillary.”

    Of course there is. It’s the TRUE BELIEVERS who voted for her, a large, well-funded congregation at that.

    Be afraid. Be very afraid.

  10. Claire says:

    Antidote. At least a palliative in the form of a more skeptical (than the original article) take on Reverend Hillary:


  11. Wrasse says:

    Likewise, Joel. Just playing devil’s advocate.

  12. Andrew says:

    We need another Mongol Invasion.




To the stake with the heretic!